By Tom Wilbur

If someone empowered you to be fearless today—I mean really fearless—what would you do?

You’d be afraid of nothing. You’d be afraid of no one. You’d have the power to go out and follow your dreams. So, what would you do?

You would have the freedom and the power to take on anything ahead. So, what would you do?

The fact of the matter is—you already are potentially the most fearless human being on the planet. No one can really hold you back. Whatever you dream, you most certainly can become. The choices you can make for your life ahead can be as bold as you want them to be. You can take risks well beyond the safety net you’ve established for yourself, because a life filled with chances— is also a life full of the most opportunity for rewards. Do exactly what you did yesterday, and hey baby, you’re headed for a Groundhog Day life.

You may have certain things that tie you down . . . things you are unwilling to let go of . . . barriers you’ve placed in front of yourself, keeping you from the target. But all things can be changed. Most barriers can be overcome. That’s what I believe.

I read a relatively disturbing article over the weekend from Business Insider, called “The American Dream is now a Myth.” It was a discussion that suggested that there has been a huge decrease in social mobility in the United States. That is, if a person is born poor, there is an overwhelming chance that they will stay poor. Folks that have money are, according to this piece, more likely to maintain it. And it raised questions as to whether the American dream even exists anymore. The article ponders if we have become a nation where the luck of the draw defines us more than our individual freedoms give opportunity to succeed. Is that where we are? A lot of people sure seem to think so—as we’ve seen in the “Occupy movements.” There’s a widespread philosophy that things are just patently unfair, and that the government should just provide us more stuff—and then everything will be better.

In banking, I have opportunity to hear lots of excuses. And I have to admit, there have been a number of times where I have made excuses myself. I’m not sure there is anything more pathetic than being an excuse maker—and I’ve been ashamed of myself when I’ve attempted to do so. An excuse is not a positive response. Essentially, within the concept of an excuse are all of the ingredients for ongoing failure. Excuses are defined as “a reason or an explanation for somebody’s behavior that makes an action appear more acceptable or less offensive.” To excuse someone is to “allow somebody to leave, or say politely that somebody should leave.” An excuse is an attempt to “release somebody from an obligation or a responsibility.” So what’s your excuse?

Seriously, think about it. You probably have one. An ongoing excuse that keeps you from reaching your dreams. Or maybe you have taken personal ownership in a bunch of excuses that spew forth whenever you’re asked about where life it taking you.

I routinely work with people in personal growth and development, and have been more than willing throughout my life to help others—whenever I can. I meet people with very real and disabling circumstances. But far too many others convince themselves that none of their dreams are achievable, due to a series of rationalizations and objections that discount or hamper their ability to reach new targets. Yep, they just make excuses. And sometimes, they seem genuinely happy that they have something to complain about in life. Things like:

I hate my job. (So what have you done about that? Why are you still there?)

My spouse holds me back. (Why do you stay with him?)

I need to move to a bigger city to get the right job for me. (So, move? No one is stopping you.)

I’m unqualified to do something better. (With all the resources available in the world, go get qualified, instead of watching TV every day, or partying on Friday and Saturday nights.)

It will be too hard to do something different. (If you believe that to be the case— it will be.)

I’m afraid. (Who isn’t? Life has pitfalls. Deal with it. Get going. No more excuses.)

So, I have a friend Joanie, whose husband left her, because they had a child born with a very devastating disease—a disease that has no cure. The husband didn’t want to deal with it—so she had to—by herself. She had no skills, and hadn’t worked a day in her life– and so she was forced to go on welfare. Once there, she learned how to be a secretary. When she got a job as a secretary, she started attending night school in law, and then became an attorney. She is now a very successful attorney. Years, later she still cares for her son daily. She refused to allow life’s knocks to beat her. Fearless. No excuses.

I had a couple that applied for a thirty year home loan with me, from the Czech Republic. They escaped over the Alps with their kids, finding sustaining water by licking the dew of the ground in the mornings for moisture. They came to Salina and without being able to speak English—both the husband and wife got a day job, a night job, and a weekend job. In just under three years, they paid off the home loan because they were determined not to make debt part of their life. Fearless. No excuses.

A friend of mine was fired by his father-in-law’s company in Wichita. He came to Salina, with his wife and kids, and with little money. He came to the bank to get a loan to start his own business—and on his first attempt, he was turned down. He went out and worked day and night to sign up 75 businesses for his services, without even having the necessary equipment to provide them, and returned to the bank. He got the loan. He became very successful, and sold his business a few years ago— for millions of dollars. Fearless. No excuses.

My Dad brought my Mom, my brother and I to Salina, following his service in the Air Force as a flight instructor. Dad had no job here. But he wanted to raise us in Salina, Kansas. He and my Mom got a small loan, and built our house themselves. I repeat, they built our house– by themselves. My brother and I (6 and 2 at the time) lived in the basement, while they sanded, painted, sawed, varnished, and hammered away. Dad barely had enough money to buy a 15 year old pickup, and a couple of shovels and trowels. And he founded a small company that over the years grew to be a very successful commercial concrete business. Lots of risks. Fearless. Never any excuses.

We have clients who buy and fix up property. Mow lawns. Drive trucks. Paint homes. Rent buildings. Work in health care. Teach. Manage investments. Sack groceries. Plow the land. Pull teeth. Count beans. Roof houses. Raise cattle. Make pizzas. None of it is easy. But they are in the game—charting a path—and taking action. They are responsible for their lives through old fashioned hard work. They are committed to their goals– honest and energetic. Making it happen. We don’t hear many excuses from the successful ones.

I think the difference is that those who achieve know what they want out of life, and are genuinely fearless. They look at the risks, and take on the day. They are out to win. And they refuse to take no when it comes to obstacles and barriers that will keep them from their dreams. They don’t read headlines from someone telling them that they can’t do it. They don’t accept the fact that some things are tougher.

A good friend of mine, a former basketball coach, and a successful businessman always says “meet pressure with pressure.” It’s as true in life as it is in basketball. But life isn’t a game.

I believe in the American Dream. I believe in a God that empowers us to love, achieve and serve others in the greatest nation on Earth. And I genuinely believe in your ability to become whatever you wish to become. I’m simply refusing to allow yesterday to determine where I will go tomorrow— and you should, too.

Break the old habits. Stop listening to news that tries to box you in with stories that the world is handing you a bad deal. Take personal responsibility for you, and get on with your life. Do what it takes to reach your dreams. Chart a course for yourself in this State whose very motto “Ad Astra Per Aspera” means “to the stars through difficulty.” Life wasn’t easy way back when, and it’s certainly challenging now. But you can do it.

Be fearless. You have my permission.

Blessings,

tw

Tom Wilbur is President/CEO of BANK VI in Salina, Kansas. A graduate of Salina Central and the University of Kansas, Tom has held numerous leadership positions in banking, non-profit organizations, and area civic groups. He is a founding member of The Last National Band. He regularly writes about life, business, faith, and family. Tom can be reached at [email protected]