On Valentine’s Day, I’d like to turn to Dr Sheldon Cooper, a leading character on TV’s “Big Bang Theory,” to help us learn a lesson about love.

Those of you familiar with the show — which depicts the nerdy antics of a group of brilliant, but socially awkward, young college professors — may be scratching your head and wondering what Sheldon can teach us about building relationships.

OK, I agree, virtually nothing is done by self-centered genius Sheldon to strengthen his on-screen relationship with girlfriend Dr Amy Fowler, but stick with me — I have something specific in mind.

In particular, I’m thinking of the episode when physicist Sheldon belittled his girlfriend’s research article in a prestigious scientific journal because “biology is not a true science.” (I didn’t say Sheldon would be a good example.) Naturally, Amy was crushed. And thus we learn an important lesson about what not to do in love.

Scientists who study relationships have long focused on how couples handle love´s headaches, heartaches, quarrels and stress. But the way that partners respond to each other´s triumphs may be even more important for the health of a relationship.

A 2006 research study found that the way a person responds to a partner´s good fortune — with shared pride or indifference — is a crucial factor in tightening a couple´s bond, or undermining it.

In the study, researchers asked couples how their partners typically reacted to positive news. The researchers also had members of the pairs rate how satisfied they were in the relationship. In their analysis of response styles, the researchers found that it was the partners’ reactions to their loved ones’ victories, small and large, that most strongly predicted the strength of the relationships.

Celebrating a partner´s promotion as if it were your own provides your partner with a tremendous emotional lift, while playing down or belittling the news can leave a deep and lasting chill.  So, when something good happens to your loved one, you’ve got a terrific opportunity to strengthen your relationship by applauding that success.

The K-State Research and Extension publication “PeopleTalk” quotes John Gottman, one of the nation’s leading experts on couple relationships. Through careful observation of hundreds of couples, Gottman has come to the conclusion that to maintain a good relationship, positive interactions should outnumber negative ones by at least five to one.

But when it comes to building an even stronger relationship, you get more “bang for your buck” by truly celebrating your loved one’s accomplishments. It’s a lesson Sheldon Cooper should learn.

For those who want to learn more about strengthening relationships, the Ellis County Extension Office offers the fact sheet “PeopleTalk” and the 6-part personal study course “CoupleTalk” from K-State Research and Extension. Contact us at (785) 628-9430 or go to www.ksre.ksu.edu and use the search function on the K-State Research and Extension home page to find these helpful resources online.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Linda Beech is Ellis County Extension family and consumer sciences agent with Kansas State Research and Extension.

By Kansas Wheat

MANHATTAN — U.S. wheat is the world’s most reliable choice. This is the message U.S. Wheat Associates takes to our foreign markets through its 17 offices all over the world.

Shannon Schlecht, vice president of policy, spoke to the Kansas Wheat boards and at the Kansas Commodity Classic. He told growers that Kansas is very important to overseas buyers.

“Kansas is the biggest hard red winter producing state so customers do want to know what’s happening in Kansas so they’re always interested to stop and see what’s going on here in Kansas.
And the impact that it might have on their purchasing decisions or on the wheat market in general.”

U.S. Wheat Associates focuses on value, rather than price. Although buyers might be able to source cheaper wheat from elsewhere, U.S. wheat can provide our customers with a better quality product.

“One of the main focuses of our work is really to look at value. We do a lot of work, especially in Latin America, as to how can hard red winter perform better and be a greater value to our customers than Canadian or Argentinean wheat.”

Schlecht also discussed the impact of the passage of The Agriculture Act of 2014 on the work of U.S. Wheat Associates.

“With the farm bill being passed, in the trade title, there is funding for the market access program and the foreign market development programs. These are cooperator programs that U.S. Wheat Associates uses to do our overseas market development work in addition to the checkoff funds from the 19 state wheat commission members.”

He said the work that U.S. Wheat does on behalf of producers is essential.

“We have competition around the world. Wheat is grown in many different countries. Buyers have opportunities to go and source their wheat from different regions. Having lived overseas, I can tell you that it is critical for us to maintain those relationships and to go visit our customers on their home turf and to build that relationship and to have a name and a face for the U.S. wheat producer around the world so that our customers know who they can reach out to if they have a question, if they need education, or need some help as to how to purchase U.S. wheat. They know exactly who to turn to, and we can assist and make sure that we keep us wheat in front of them as the most reliable choice and the best value for the products they need to produce.”

Kansas wheat producers, through their two-penny per bushel checkoff, are able to maintain these relationships all over the world.