One of the inevitable side effects of watching a movie every weekend for over three years is becoming a little jaded. It becomes harder to please anyone who has ever say in the critics’ seat because they have seen how the sausage is made, so to speak. I try to anticipate and adjust for my bias as much as I possibly can. I’m the first to admit that I’m far from perfect.
That said, “Furious 7” is a steaming pile of garbage that deserves neither its stupefying level of critical acclaim or its bountiful weekend box office total.
This just isn’t a good movie. The “Fast and the Furious” franchise has taken a long, winding road through cinematic history but never has it stopped in a more seedy or idiotic part of town than it does in its seventh installment. The best, and most truthful, way I can describe the latest two episodes of this franchise is this: these films have become moronic “Transformers” movies with fast cars that don’t transform.
The writing is absolutely abysmal, the acting is poor, even from veteran actors, and the runtime is bloated beyond belief. I’m perfectly fine with “stupid funny” movies or “just for fun action” flicks, but “Furious 7” is neither. It’s stupid, but not funny. It has action but it takes itself far too seriously to find the fun in its ludicrous proceedings.
“Fast Five” was an incredibly enjoyable “just for fun” movie. It had everything those types of films need. Installments six and seven tried to up the ante and up the octane by such ridiculous amounts that the resulting mess blasts off from the realm of fun sails obliviously through one trope and camp after another.
Yes, the tribute to Paul Walker at the end was touching. Yes, Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel are exciting action stars. However, “Furious 7” is guilty of the most egregious of creative sins -it’s a sellout. Instead of delivering what would tell the best story or be the most entertaining, the filmmakers instead decided to deliver everything they (correctly if the buzz and box office numbers are any indication) thought audiences wanted to see. “Furious 7” is a radioactively glowing example of the business of the cinema industry, which is a shame.
2 of 6 stars