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Exploring Kan. Outdoors: Let the show begin

Steve Gilliland
Steve Gilliland

The shows on this stage have always been more than spectacular and tonight’s performances even exceeded our expectations.

A bumbling pair of wild turkeys opened the show. The hen pecked contentedly at the corn beneath a deer feeder while the long-bearded gobbler who played her sidekick milled about rather aimlessly, acting as though he was too good to be seen grazing with the likes of her. At this time of year wild tom turkeys usually fall all over themselves to impress the ladies, twirling and prancing with their tails fanned out, but this fellow acted as though he had either lost all his mojo or totally forgotten his lines.

By the way, kudos to the set designers and to the orchestra for the astounding life-like sights and sounds they prepared for tonight’s show. The sets were marvelous and the designers totally nailed the colors of the dogwood blossoms and the purple and yellow wildflowers that dot the hillsides this time of year. The orchestra perfectly recreated the silky-smooth cooing of the mourning doves, and even the raucous buzzing made by the hummingbird’s tiny wings seemed impeccable this evening as they chased each other from feeder to feeder. Now and then the muffled gobbles of wild tom turkeys could be heard drifting through the theater, sounding for-all-the-world like we were actually sitting in the hills hearing their unmistakable throaty warbles echoing across the ridges.

For the next couple hours we were treated to an unbelievable evening of sights, sounds and smells so realistic that with our eyes closed it seemed as though we were actually somewhere in the woods experiencing them firsthand in the wild.

The closing act for the evening was the comedy duo of two beavers. They appeared on stage by suddenly popping to the surface of their little pond one-at-a-time, then cruised aimlessly around before suddenly disappearing just as silently as they had appeared. This routine was repeated several times before one of them began drifting slowly up the creek above their little pond. Just ahead of the beaver, a deer stood near the creek, gobbling corn from beneath the same feeder that was the opening prop for the turkeys. As the beaver reached the feeding deer, it loudly slapped its tail in the creek, throwing water everywhere and sending the poor deer, who was minding its own business bolting from under the feeder with its ears laid back. The deer stood looking around as if to wonder what it had done wrong while the cranky beaver sped on up the creek.

By now the house lights had been brought low and the entire theater was bathed in moonlight. You could feel the tension building toward a dramatic ending of some sort. Then, just when we thought nothing could top the last act, the evening reached a crescendo and was followed by……..absolutely nothing! The absolute stillness of the night was beyond any “quiet” I have ever known!

OK, I have a confession; we saw and heard all the above from the front porch, yes from the front porch of my brother’s cabin, deep in the Ohio woods, which I guess can be considered God’s theater, and God’s stage. While I realize this was not Exploring Kansas Outdoors per say, I didn’t think you’d mind a change of location for a week as long as you got a good story!…Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors!

Steve Gilliland, Inman, can be contacted by email at [email protected].

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