Time is a fickle thing. There’s never enough of it, and even when there is, finding the right time for the right thing can be like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole while being both asleep and at the gym working out. Such has certainly been my experience. I have been meaning to; and, in fact, have been trying to, write a little something like this for many months now.
For anyone who has read my movie reviews over the past couple of years, it should be no surprise that I am a fearless, tireless, and unwavering “Star Wars” fan. When “The Force Awakens” came out last December, it was easily one of the highlights of my year, of the past decade, really. I went to a marathon screening that lasted about 21 hours where they showed all six original “Star Wars” films leading up to the galactic premiere of “The Force Awakens.” It was a nearly indescribable experience. Including the marathon, I saw “The Force Awakens” seven times in theaters. I pre-ordered both the digital release, which came out last Friday, and the Blu-Ray release, which came out today. Meaning, I purchased the home video release of “The Force Awakens” twice, one because it was the earliest it was available anywhere and the other because it has more special features and has the physical disks.
All of which is a mighty preamble to this next sentence. I didn’t write, haven’t written and will not write a review of “The Force Awakens.” That begs the question, why wouldn’t I write a review of a movie that obviously meant as much to me as “Force Awakens” did? I’ve had a difficult time answering that question; below are the best answers I have come up with.
First, “Star Wars” is just too sacred to me. In both my darkest nights and brightest days, the trials and tribulations of that galaxy far, far away have been firmly seared in my heart and mind. “Star Wars,” at the absolute perfect age, taught me what it means to be a hero. Reviewing the film that answered the question, “What happens next?”after, for me, 18 years of waiting proved impossible. Believe me, I tried. The experience of again seeing Luke, Han and Leia, in addition to a new generation of heroes and villains, still brings a great many tears to my eyes – even at 2:00 AM, completely alone in my apartment. This is as much of a review as I could muster on the subject: “The Force Awakens” is everything I could have hoped it would be, everything I needed it to be. It truly is the movie experience of a generation, filled with small joys and simple wonders.
Secondly, I’ve decided that, after all of these years reviewing movies, it’s high time that I got off the bench. Let me clarify. I’m not typically a religious person. I have very great doubts about the cosmos and our infinitesimally small place in it. The place in my heart, that organized religion fills for so many people, is filled by the act and art of storytelling. My clear eyes and full heart come from a story well-told.
That act; the act of telling a story, is the one great difference between the human race and every other species in the known universe. The octopus genome contains more protein-coding genes than the human genome – in many respects, the DNA of an octopus is more complex than the DNA of a human. Horses recognize and physiologically respond to emotions displayed on still images of people. They recognize and feel emotion across the boundary of species. Animals are smart, complex and can feel the things we feel. The one colossal difference between them and us is this: we, all of us, can get caught up in a story. Humans can see, empathize with, love, hate and laugh with imaginary people on planets that don’t exist. To our current understanding, that is unique in the whole of creation.
That is my calling. That is what I chose my life to be about. To that end, I need to get in the game, and reviewing the work of others is a poor substitute to making my own.
I felt I owed both the Hays Daily News and HaysPost.com readerships an explanation as to my sudden absence, as both audiences have been so immensely kind to me over the nearly four years that I have reviewed movies for these publications. My eternal thanks to both the Hays Daily News and to Eagle Communications for allowing me to contribute to their platforms. My thanks are also due to the great many of you who have sent me kind words over the course of the years.
So, what’s next? I have a great many plans. Plans that are actively in production, in one stage or another. They include, but are not limited to, ending my time in Washington, D.C., saving some money, and returning to school to study film. To quote Theodore Roosevelt:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
What’s next is this: I plan to live my life telling stories or, if I fail, at least fail why daringly greatly.
For any who may be interested in following my journey, you may do so at the following places: TemporalCanvas.com, my personal blog, and BlizzardForge.com, a fan-site about Blizzard Entertainment, both websites I own and plan to operate. Also, please feel to email me at [email protected].
Once again, and lastly, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the years of kind words and support. It is my great hope that some future movie-reviewer for the city of Hays may one day review a film that I have created.
Yours very sincerely and respectfully,
James A. Gerstner