My wife and I celebrated our first Christmas together in 1980. My “present” to her was a dog I picked up at the pound that we soon named Bruno. Bruno was a St. Bernard mix. Initially, he was very shy (I am sure it was some type of stress syndrome from being in the dog pound). However, one evening, we invited Bruno into our bed. From then on, he was our constant companion and confidant.

Fast forward several years. I found a good fishing pond just outside of Hays where I could fish for bass. Bruno would follow me from spot to spot, lying in the grass, watching patiently while I quietly fished.

There was one particular spot in the pond where I always went. It was a fallen tree, lying in the water. There I discovered a large, wily bass that I tried repeatedly to catch. Many times I thought I had him, only to have him shake the lure out. He was certainly bigger than any bass I had ever caught. My goal every time I went to the pond was to catch the big bass. Going home without him was always somewhat of a disappointment.

It is interesting how our goals change as we grow older. Perhaps as a young person we set goals or dreams of obtaining riches, a special car, or a certain job. I know when I first started practicing law I dreamed of being in a large firm, practicing labor law (gosh, that would have been boring!).

I have noticed how my priorities have shifted as I grow older. Rather than “stuff”, my goals include finding opportunities to spend time with my family, to have grandchildren, and to see that my law practice serves our families well. Some of those old goals that I had are just not as important anymore, and even seem a little bit silly.

In our second half of life it is okay to set new goals, and let go of old ones. The fact that you did not reach some goal that you had as a youth does not mean you failed; it just means you changed your priorities. You have matured, and along the way you did what you needed to do.

Let me go back to Bruno. It was 1986. My second son, Ben, was born, only to develop an illness. Without the great doctoring he received and the intervention of my wife, he would have died. My wife and I realized how lucky we were not to have lost Ben.

At exactly the same time, Bruno developed cancer in his hip. It was very painful, and it was one of the most difficult moments making the decision to let him pass.

That day I left the veterinarian’s office. Bruno was gone. I just needed to be alone with my grief. I went to the pond, to my favorite fishing spot. I cast my lure and suddenly the big bass struck, and I reeled him in. I stood holding him, amazed at his size.

My mind raced with thoughts of Ben and of Bruno—what mixed feelings.

I put the bass back into the water, thankful for Ben, and as a tribute to Bruno. I even said something to the fish about it being his lucky day. It was the last I saw of the bass.

Sometimes it is appropriate to let go of a dream, when you realize it really was not all that important, and come to the realization there are bigger and more important things in life.

Randy Clinkscales of Clinkscales Elder Law Practice, PA, Hays, Kansas, is an elder care attorney, practicing in western Kansas. To contact him, please send an email to [email protected]. Disclaimer: The information in the column is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Each case is different and outcomes depend on the fact of each case and the then applicable law. For specific questions, you should contact a qualified attorney.