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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 7/18/17

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Watery Problem

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling
well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when
you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after
lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another
big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc,
exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

 

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BEECH: Salads for cool, healthy summertime meals

Linda Beech, Family and Consumer Sciences Agent, Cottonwood District, Kansas State Research and Extension.

When some people hear the word “salad,” they think of a small bowl of leafy greens and creamy dressing that fills time before the arrival of their steak or chicken.

While a salad often precedes the main course in restaurants, a salad can also serve as the main course – or the only course. Chefs, dietitians, even bloggers and “foodies” are taking on salads these days, and pushing them in new directions.

“I think we’re seeing some new trends and ideas out there that really are widening our view of what a salad is, and what the components of it might be,” said Sandy Procter, K-State Research and Extension nutrition specialist.

For many, the base of a salad continues to be vegetables, usually one of the many varieties of lettuce or other leafy greens. Add other vegetables, maybe some protein, and a dressing and you have a basic salad. Procter says this is a great way to add vegetables and fruits to your diet.

Procter noted these four healthy reasons for adding more salads to our nutrition plan:

Fiber — Most of us don’t get enough fiber in our diet, and it works together with exercise to keep our digestive systems healthy and prevent some of the common chronic diseases of the day, including cancer.

Phytonutrients — These natural, plant-derived chemicals aren’t as critical as vitamins and minerals (also found in plants), but things like carotenoids and flavonoids help make us resistant to diseases and can slow down the aging process.

“Volumetrics” — If you’re one of those people that could stand to shed a few pounds, a properly designed salad can help you do this. The concept of volumetrics is that by eating larger portions of healthy foods, you’ll feel more satisfied. As an example, two apples have roughly the same number of calories as one candy bar, but the apples have more fiber and are bigger, therefore helping you feel fuller.

Great source of “smart fats” — We often think of “fat” as something that should be avoided in our diets, but not all fats are equal. Plant-based fats such as olive oil, avocado, nuts and seeds are good fats, and it’s not uncommon to find them in a salad. Just go easy on the high-fat dressings.

When a salad becomes a main course, protein frequently becomes part of the lineup. While chicken and steak are popular options, protein doesn’t have to be limited to meat. Eggs, beans cheeses, nuts and seeds can deliver protein to a salad. Quinoa (“KEEN-wah”) is a protein rich grain that can be served warm or chilled, after it’s been cooked.

The biggest obstacle to taking a salad to work for lunch is keeping it cold. This can be accomplished by packing your salad with a frozen bottle of water or a reusable “chill pack” from your freezer. One of the newer trends in brown-bagging salad is an old standby from your grandmother’s kitchen: the Mason jar or canning jar.

“The beauty of the Mason jar salad is that dressing goes in the bottom, followed by whatever ingredients you choose — you can see each layer and portion them out. Add the leafy greens last, screw on the lid, and then it’s easy to transport. The glass can stay cold longer than plastic. Give it a good shake when it’s time to eat,” Procter said.

“Also, the glass doesn’t absorb flavors as many plastics do, so you can carry balsamic vinegar one day and blue cheese the next, and those flavors aren’t going to be blended. Glass is easy to wash up and use the next day.”

Salads also provide a good reason for frequenting local farmers markets to take advantage of locally grown produce. Try to take the kids with you, let them pick some things out. That’s a great way to get kids interested in adding vegetables and fruits to meals.

“Salads are really nice way to widen people’s thoughts about what vegetables can be,” concluded Procter. “Not necessarily cooked and hot all the time — those cold, crisp, bite-sized vegetables can be really welcoming on a warm summer day.”

Zimmermann, home runs send Tigers to rout of Royals

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) – Nicholas Castellanos and Mikie Mahtook went deep, Jordan Zimmermann smothered the Royals with strikes and the Detroit Tigers proceeded to trounce Kansas City 10-2 to open a four-game series Monday night.

Ian Kinsler added three extra-base hits for the Tigers, who knocked American League wins leader Jason Vargas (12-4) from the game after 2 2/3 innings in his first start since the All-Star break.

Zimmermann (6-7) allowed one run and seven hits without a walk in 6 2/3 innings, throwing 79 of 97 pitches for strikes. His dominance was partly a result of first-pitch strikes to 24 of the 28 batters he faced, which helped the right-hander win for the first time since June 3.

Seemingly the only pitch Zimmermann threw that wasn’t a strike hit Royals shortstop Alcides Escobar on the left wrist in the seventh inning. Escobar was forced to leave the game.

Liberal beat Larks; claims Jayhawk League title

LIBERAL, Kan. – The Liberal Bee Jays scored nine runs in the bottom of the first inning and rolled to an 18-6 win over the Hays Larks Monday night at Brent Gould Field, locking up their first Jayhawk League crown since 1999.

Larks starter Peyton Battenfield (4-2) allowed eight runs on five hits without recording an out.

The Larks actually led 3-0 after a half inning but that would be it as they drop their second straight for only the third time this summer.

Jonathan Soberanes had three hits and Trevor Boone hit a home run and drove in two.

The Larks (27-13, 27-12 Jayhawk League) are back at home Tuesday night for the start of a three-game series with El Dorado to close out the regular season. Free admission for the 7 pm game courtesy of the Plainville Knights of Columbus, Quest Diagnostics and Astra Bank.

FHSU men’s golf adds four

HAYS, Kan. – Fort Hays State head men’s golf coach Seth Kincaid has announced the signing of four players for the 2017-18 season. Kincaid’s first recruiting class includes one freshman and three transfers.

“I’m very excited about our incoming class for next season,” said Kincaid. “These four young men have proven that they can compete at a high level on the course and have excelled in the classroom. Adding this group to our existing squad gives us a great chance to be competitive this season and in the future.”

Reese Emert is the lone freshman in this year’s class, heading to Hays after a successful career at Topeka Seaman High School in Topeka, Kan. Emert was a two-time 5A regional champion, earning all-city and all-league honors as a senior after winning the Topeka City Championship. He earned three letters for the Vikings, qualifying for the state tournament all three years.

Mac McNish joins the Tigers after two seasons at the junior college ranks. A Hutchinson, Kan. native, McNish started his career at Garden City Community College before transferring to Hutchinson Community College as a sophomore, helping the Broncbusters and Blue Dragons to Nationals in each season. He was named KJCCCA honorable mention All-Conference as a freshman at GCCC. McNish had a successful high school career at Buhler High School in Buhler, Kan., culminating with a team and individual 4A state title in 2015. He qualified for state two times, helping the Crusaders to a runner-up finish as a junior.

Luke Russell comes to FHSU after two seasons at Garden City Community College. The Leavenworth, Kan. native helped the Broncbusters earn a spot in the NJCAA national tournament both seasons. Russell twice earned second team All-District III honors. He qualified for state four times, including three trips while attending Lansing High School, finishing as high as eighth as a junior.

Connor Schultz will compete as a junior for the Tigers next season after spending last season at Ottawa University. A native of Garden City, Kan., he earned a spot on the KCAC All-Tournament team after firing a 3-under 69 in the first round, breaking the single-round school record. Off the course, Schultz was named a KCAC Scholar Athlete while helping the Braves earn the 2017 KCAC Team of Character award. He began his collegiate career by playing one season at Garden City Community College. Schultz was a two-time state qualifier at Garden City High School.

FHSU Sports Information

UPDATE: Kansas Supreme Court again weighs school funding

Oral arguments are scheduled for today at the Kansas Supreme Court in the Gannon v. Kansas school funding lawsuit. FILE PHOTO / KPR

 

TOPEKA Kan. (AP) — The Latest on a Kansas Supreme Court hearing over the state’s school funding (all times local):

2:40 p.m.

The Kansas Supreme Court is weighing whether state legislators boosted spending on public schools enough this year to provide a suitable education to all children, as the high court had ordered.

The justices heard arguments Tuesday from attorneys about a new school finance law but appeared skeptical that the funding plan offers enough money for education.

That law phases in a $293 million increase in education funding over two years. The justices ruled in March that the state’s then-$4 billion a year in aid to its 286 school districts was inadequate.

School districts suing for more funding say the state needs to add nearly $900 million over two years for funding to be adequate. But an attorney for the state countered that the new law vastly improved the previous way schools were funded.

JOHN HANNA, AP Political Writer

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — Attorneys for Kansas face an often skeptical state Supreme Court as they prepare to argue that legislators boosted spending on public schools enough this year to provide a suitable education to all children.

The high court is hearing arguments Tuesday from attorneys about a new school finance law phasing in a $293 million increase in education funding over two years. The justices ruled in March that the state’s then-$4 billion a year in aid to its 286 school districts was inadequate.

It was the latest in a string of decisions favoring four school districts that sued Kansas in 2010.

The state argues that the increase is sizeable and new dollars are targeted toward helping under-performing students.

Lawyers for the school districts argue that lawmakers fell at least $600 million short.

Ellis Baptist Church plans mission trip to Kenya

By CRISTINA JANNEY

Hays Post

Michael Pritchett, his mother, Tricia Pritchett, and Julia Cox all of Ellis Baptist Church pose for a picture during a fundraiser at Arthur’s Pizza in Ellis.

A group from Ellis Baptist Church is about half way to its fundraising goal to send nine church members to Kenya next summer.

The trip has already been in the planning stages for more than a year.

The church has sent members on mission trips before, but in 2018 they will be joining missionaries Josh and Bethany Wormley, who the church is sponsoring, in Eldoret, Kenya, a city of about 290,000 people.

Youth and adults will assist the missionaries with work at a local orphanage and school as well as tasks at a newly formed Bible institute that is training Kenyans to be local ministers.

Although the city does have modern conveniences, such as electricity and common American fast food chains like KFC, it also has much poverty, Chad Pritchett, Ellis Baptist Church pastor, said.

Pritchett is an Army veteran who served in both the Gulf and Iraq wars and has also taken mission trips abroad.

“I have seen the impact of missions on our own children,” he said. “They get to see truly what other countries have, and they are never the same.”

Lauren Pritchett, 19, traveled to Livingstone, Zambia, Africa, about four years ago on a similar mission trip.

“We take a lot of things for granted. They love the Lord and will do whatever He wants them to do,” she said.

Residents in this rural area, which they call the bush, lived in stick huts with leaf roofs with no running water and no electricity. Lauren’s group conducted revivals in the area, and some faithful walked seven miles to come to church.

Lauren was so inspired by her trip she plans to go into the ministry and is considering foreign missions.

“I realized how much God has blessed me and my family. I could see the love God has, and how it could translate over here too,” she said.

Lauren’s mom, Tricia, is also going on the Kenya trip along with Lauren’s brother Michael.

Tricia has never been out of the country. She hopes to share some of Lauren’s experiences.

“This will be my daughter’s third mission trip,” she said. “ Every time she comes back, she is so excited about what she has done and seen. She is changed in her heart and her ministry toward other people.”

Tricia said she is most looking forward to working in the Eldoret orphanage. Their own family adopted one of their children, who is now grown.

Kelly Hansen, 35, a teacher at Ellis’ Washington Elementary School, has been to Africa on multiple mission trips. She has taught in schools and done in-services for local teachers in Africa. After first-grade, most teaching in Kenya is done in English, and most children know both English and local tribal languages.

Leading Bible study for a small group of teen girls has been among her most rewarding activities, she said.

“I have always had joy in my heart for helping someone else grow and change,” she said.

Hansen said the Kenyan people are very hospitable and usually offer tea or food when guests visits. They appreciative when westerners can help with money or physical things, but Hansen learned there were problems she could not solve.

“The Gospel is more than that,” she said. “There were times I couldn’t fix things financially for them. It really laid on my heart that the  Gospel was so much more than that, that eternal salvation is so much more than anything I could give or bring with me.”

Those who wish to give to the mission trip can send checks to Kenya Team, Ellis Baptist Church, PO Box 204, Ellis, KS 67637.

A member of Ellis Baptist Church dressed as a piece of pizza stands outside Arthur’s Pizza in Ellis during a fundraiser for the group’s trip to Kenya.

The church is a 501(c)3, and contributions are tax deductible. The group is selling T-shirts as a fundraiser, will have a soccer camp and plans a fundraising night at Arthur’s Pizza in Ellis on Aug. 31.

More triple-digit heat Tuesday

Today Sunny and hot, with a high near 102. Heat index values as high as 105. Breezy, with a south wind 11 to 20 mph.

Tonight Mostly clear, with a low around 73. Breezy, with a south wind 15 to 20 mph decreasing to 7 to 12 mph after midnight.

WednesdaySunny and hot, with a high near 101. South wind 6 to 11 mph.

Wednesday NightMostly clear, with a low around 73. South wind 8 to 13 mph.

ThursdaySunny and hot, with a high near 102. South wind 9 to 15 mph.

Thursday NightMostly clear, with a low around 74.

FridaySunny and hot, with a high near 102.

Friday NightMostly clear, with a low around 73.

SaturdayA 30 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms after 1pm. Mostly sunny, with a high near 99.

With Kansas Senator’s Opposition, Trump Healthcare Bill Stopped

Moran spoke in Lenexa June 13-

 JIM MCLEAN

U.S. Sen. Jerry Moran remains a “no” vote on the Republican’s Affordable Care Act replacement bill.

In late June, the Republican senator from Kansas, to the surprise of many, announced his opposition to an initial draft of the bill. But, as of the close of business Monday, Moran had not taken a position on the revised version released Thursday by GOP leaders.

That changed Monday night when he and Sen. Mike Lee, a fellow Republican from Utah, announced their opposition to the measure on Twitter.

 

In a statement also issued on social media, Moran said while he remained committed to repealing Obamacare, Congress needs to make a “fresh start” on writing a replacement bill and do it in an “open legislative process.”

“This closed-door process has yielded the BCRA (Better Care Reconciliation Act), which fails to repeal the Affordable Care Act or address healthcare’s rising costs,” Moran said. “For the same reasons I could not support the previous version of this bill, I cannot support this one.”

“We should not put our stamp of approval on bad policy,” he said.

At town hall meetings over Congress’ July 4 break, Moran said he was concerned the bill wouldn’t lower overall consumer costs and wouldn’t provide adequate protection for those with pre-existing conditions. He also expressed concerns that deep cuts in Medicaid over the next decade could threaten the survival of already struggling rural hospitals and nursing homes.

“I am a product of rural Kansas,” Moran said July 6 to an overflow crowd in Palco, a small town north of Hays. “I understand the value of a hospital in your community, of a physician in your town, of a pharmacy on Main Street.”

Moran’s renewed stand against the bill drew immediate praise Monday from Kansas groups that have spent the past several weeks urging him to maintain his opposition to it.

“Senator Moran’s leadership will protect 120,000 Kansans from losing coverage and protect providers from devastating Medicaid cuts,” said David Jordan, director of the advocacy group Alliance for a Healthy Kansas.

“Kansans spoke out and Jerry Moran listened,” Hilary Gee, a Kansas lobbyist for the American Cancer Society’s Cancer Action Network, tweeted in reaction to the news.

U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said in a statement late Monday the defections of Moran and Lee effectively kills the bill.

“Regretfully, it is now apparent that the effort to repeal and immediately replace the failure of Obamacare will not be successful,” McConnell said.

Jim McLean is managing director of the Kansas News Service, a collaboration of  kcur.org, Kansas Public Radio and KMUW covering health, education and politics. You can reach him on Twitter @jmcleanks.

Police find machete, drugs after car chase with Kansas felon

Nelson-photo KDOC

 RENO COUNTY— Two people were arrested after a chase with law enforcement on Sunday.

Just after 9 a.m. a Hutchinson Police Officer traveling on Kansas 61 recognized the driver of a vehicle as 22-year-old Clancy Nelson.

The officer knew Nelson had numerous warrants and attempted to make a traffic stop and the chase was on. Police say Nelson ran a number of traffic lights, stop signs and yield signs in Hutchinson.

The chase ended on a rural road when Nelson attempted to make a turn on Mayfield Road and lost control. The vehicle slid into a ditch. Nelson and his passenger, 22-year-old Arianna Rucker, were both ordered from the vehicle.

Officers then did a search and located methamphetamine, marijuana and drug paraphernalia. They also found a black folding knife and 18” machete.

Potential charges against the two include possession of methamphetamine, marijuana, drug paraphernalia, criminal possession of a firearm and driving while suspended.

Nelson is also being held for a probation violation and failure to appear. He is also listed as an absconder from community corrections on a drug conviction. He has a previous weapons conviction in Reno County. He is due back in court next week.

Rucker posted bond and she’ll be in court later this week.

UPDATE: Semi-pro football player dies in Kansas shooting

 

Golden- photo courtesy Kansas Cougars football

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — Authorities have arrested one suspect in the weekend shooting death of a semi-pro football player in Wichita and continue looking for two others.

Police have identified the victim as 19-year-old Timothy Golden, who was a tight end for the Kansas Cougars. Police say Golden was found dead Saturday afternoon inside an apartment building and that the 18-year-old suspect was arrested that day. The man was booked into jail on suspicion of first-degree murder early Sunday.

Cougars Head Coach Darrell Nave described Golden as a “very energetic kid.” Nave said he had anticipated that Golden was going to have a “breakout season” because he “just wanted to be a better athlete.”

Police declined to discuss a motive because two of the suspects haven’t yet been arrested.

———–
SEDGWICK COUNTY- Law enforcement authorities are investigating a Saturday afternoon fatal shooting and have one suspect in custody.

Just after 1:40p.m. officers were dispatched to a shooting at an apartment complex in the 500 Block of South McLean in Wichita, according to Lt. Jason Stephens with Wichita Police.

First responders attended to the 19-year-old victim identified as Timothy J. Golden. He died at the scene.

Investigators determined that three unknown male suspects went to that location and multiple fired shots into the apartment, according to Stephens.  Police did identify 18-year-old Ritchie Randle as one of the suspects. He is being held in the Sedgwick County Jail on a requested charge First-Degree Murder.

Authorities are working to identify the other two suspects and ask that anyone with information on the shooting contact police.   Stephens did not know a possible motive for the shooting.

Kansas teen faces life sentence for role in shooting death

Patillo, Jr. -photo Topeka Police

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — A Kansas 18-year-old accused of having a role in the shooting death of a man in Topeka has been convicted of first-degree murder.

A Shawnee County jury found Christopher Patillo Jr. guilty on Monday after a six-day trial. Patillo, who was 16 at the time of 20-year-old Brian Miller’s death in April of last year, had been certified to stand trial as an adult.

Patillo faces a life sentence with no chance of parole for a quarter century.

Prosecutors argued that Patillo drove a van from which a gunman fired shots.

Patillo also was convicted of criminal discharge of a firearm at an occupied dwelling, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and aggravated child endangerment.

A sentencing date was not immediately scheduled.

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