My wife (Barbara) comes from a good Mennonite background, inheriting by blood or tradition many of the attributes of those raised in the simple lifestyle of Mennonites. In addition to frugality, those attributed include cooking and preserving whatever nature gives you at the moment.

We moved to Hays, Kansas in 1983. I was a young lawyer, trying to find my footing (and clients) in a new town. A year after our move, we started having children, pulling my wife from the workforce and making me the sole breadwinner with a new solo law practice.

Given our circumstances, and my wife’s background, imagine our delight when we discovered several apricot trees with no one picking their fruit. The trees were located on the campus of Fort Hays State University, just across the street to the west of the Memorial Union (the area is now a parking lot). It was summer, and all the students were gone.

Barb and I, armed with a couple five gallon buckets, a one year old child in a backpack, and our trusty St. Bernard mixed dog, Bruno, would gather fruit (and eat some along the way). We would then wash the fruit, set aside some for friends, and then Barb would begin the process of preserving and making other apricot based dishes.

We would return day after day to pick more. As we got near the end of the season, we would spread sheets on the ground, I would climb into the trees, and then shake the branches until we had enough to fill our buckets for the day.

This continued for several summers. However, the second year while gathering the fruit, a Fort Hays State University Campus Policeman showed up. He asked who had given us permission to pick the fruit, and I shared that no one had. He alleged we were stealing state property. My lawyer mode kicked in (as young lawyers are apt to do), and I made several arguments, including that this was State fruit and anyone from the State should be entitled to enjoy the bounty from the State.

The exchange was mildly heated. The officer (“Fred” for the purposes of this article) eventually stated that he was sure that what we were doing was wrong, but he just could not figure out what the violation was.

My first impression of Fred was not very good.

It is not unusual to have a bad experience with someone, but what happens next is really the key.

Some clients I work with may hold grudges, and they can be over the simplest things. Most disturbing is when the animosity is directed toward a family member, particularly a child or a sibling. It can result in a refusal to participate in joint family gatherings and celebrations. People can actually terminate relationships over something as simple as “apricots”.

Life is too short. In the past few years, I am lucky to have had an opportunity to visit with my father before his death, talking through some issues going back to my youth. I have made a point to write down names of people that I was angry with, and either talk it out with them, or just let my anger go.

For me, a big part of it was realizing that some, if not all of the anger or frustration, was coming from my actions or my overreactions.

As I grow older, I realize that my family, and my friends, are too important to lose over “apricots”.

Let me go back to Fred. Fred must have either bought my legal argument or just given up. On occasion, he would stop by and help us pick the apricots.

In kind of an interesting twist, Fred went on to law school and became a fine lawyer. Through the years, I have referred several cases to him. Once, Fred even helped one of my sons with a difficult traffic citation. I am happy to call Fred my friend.

Wouldn’t it have been unfortunate if Fred and I remained angry over “apricots”?

My wish for all of you is to be able to move on with the relationships with your family and friends, and not lose part of yourself because of anger.

Randy Clinkscales of Clinkscales Elder Law Practice, PA, Hays, Kansas, is an elder care attorney, practicing in western Kansas. To contact him, please send an email to [email protected]. Disclaimer: The information in the column is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Each case is different and outcomes depend on the fact of each case and the then applicable law. For specific questions, you should contact a qualified attorney.

By RON WILSON
Huck Boyd National Institute for Rural Development

A high-performance car needs to have its engine tuned just right. High-performance organizations sometimes need something similar. Today we’ll learn about a new executive-education program which seeks to help senior leaders of those organizations achieve the highest levels of performance, using a nationally known consultant from rural Kansas.

As we have previously profiled, Russell Disberger is the founder and owner of Aspen Business Group. He has deep roots in rural Kansas.

Russell Disberger’s ancestors homesteaded near Council Grove. When Russell’s father took a position teaching agriculture at Hutchinson Community College, the family relocated to Reno County. Russell and his siblings went to school at Haven and lived near the rural community of Yoder, which has a population of 194 people. Now, that’s rural.

Russell’s family worked as custom cutters to harvest wheat for farmers throughout the central plains. This rural upbringing taught him the importance of hard work and taking care of the customer.

Russell started several businesses while in college, earned a finance degree from K-State and launched a career in entrepreneurship and business development. He worked for the Small Business Development Centers and then participated in tech transfer and co-founded a venture capital-enterprise.

In 1998 while in Colorado, he launched Aspen Business Group, a management consulting and organizational development firm. “We help businesses achieve their goals by working together with them to improve their bottom line and effectiveness, one employee at a time,” Russell said. During his career, he has advised more than 3,000 businesses, government agencies and educational institutions through startup, improvement, survival, turnaround, sale and growth modes. When his kids became college-age, Russell moved his office back to the Manhattan area while maintaining an office in Colorado.

Meanwhile, Jeff Wolfe at K-State’s Global Campus was interested in developing an executive-education program. Global Campus is the part of the university that is responsible for assisting with conferences and online classes. After discovering that there was a strong interest and a need for executive education, Jeff looked for a partner and found that such a nationally known expert had moved to the Manhattan area: Russell Disberger. Jeff connected with Russell and they developed a unique alliance through which K-State could offer consulting and assistance to senior business executives.

In fall 2017, K-State is offering the first of three programs: The Executive Coach, which will be followed by The Strategic Leader and The Frontline Leader. The three programs are targeted for executives, mid-level managers, and front-line managers, respectively.

Through the Executive Coach session, participants will learn to define a high-performance culture, pinpoint performance gaps and priorities, identify barriers, leverage team and organizational strengths, build strong teams and foster individual commitment, and more.

The coaching and training will be facilitated by Russell and a team which includes long-time, highly regarded management experts Richard Seltzer and Tom Roberts. Each of the programs consists of 12 all-day sessions that meet quarterly over a three-year period.

Each workshop features an expert from private industry or K-State faculty. The program includes roundtable group discussions, lectures, and business simulations, plus a dedicated coach who provides one-on-one, follow-up accountability sessions between workshops.

“This is a great opportunity to plan for the future, target critical goals, and strategize the optimal execution of our objectives to achieve genuine growth,” Russell said. “It’s a chance to gain new insights from executives in other industries from around the country. Participants will come away with concrete action steps, new tools and capabilities, and a plan for the next 90 days.”

“Successful leaders need to be committed to lifelong learning,” Jeff said. “They need to invest in developing a leadership pipeline for their organization. This leads to a great culture and a high level of employee engagement additionally, a high return on their investment that will impact their bottom line.”
For more information, see www.exec.k-state.edu.

Just as a high-performance car needs a tune-up, sometimes an organization needs to be fine-tuned as well. We commend Russell Disberger, Jeff Wolfe, and others involved in this initiative for making a difference by providing high-level education for high-level performance.