The month of May is an especially busy season for gift-giving: graduations, Mother’s Day, baby showers, bridal showers, weddings, and other special occasions.

When we give someone a gift, we try to choose something we feel they will really like. We wrap it nicely and present it to them with great expectations. We can’t wait to see their reaction and their “thank you” is music to our ears.

The people who give gifts to us feel the same way. They want to know that their gift was received and that we enjoyed it. The best way to acknowledge the gift and express appreciation to the giver is with a written thank you note.

Proper etiquette says that for any gift received, a thank you note should be sent as soon as possible. Even in the same town between relatives, a short written thank you note acknowledging the gift and the giver should be sent within a week, if possible. A handwritten note is best, but a printed note with an original signature is an acceptable option. Do not use e-mail to send a thank-you note. A verbal thank-you can be made in addition to the written note– but not in place of it.

The Basic Etiquette of Thank You Notes
A thank you note is an expression of appreciation for a gift or thoughtful act. But the potential formality of this situation can be intimidating. Many people think that the wording has to be perfect, and this causes so much anxiety that sometimes the notes are never sent. Before all the other rules, just remember that an imperfect note that comes with heartfelt sentiment is better than a perfect note that was never written.

In order to relieve some of the anxiety on this subject, here is a simple guide to the do’s and don’ts of thank you notes:

The Do’s of Thank You Notes
Do send your thank you notes as quickly as possible. Notes may be sent on informal stationery, except for wedding thank you notes which are generally sent on formal stationery. Always make specific reference to the gift that is the subject of the note, such as “Thank you so much for the blue sweater. How did you know blue was my favorite color?”

Always send notes in the following situations:

• For wedding gifts.
• For sympathy flowers, memorial contributions or mass cards.
• To the hostess after a party that was hosted in your honor.
• For bridal or baby shower gifts.
• For gifts that were received by mail.
• After being entertained by your boss.
• For gifts received during a hospital stay.
• After being hosted as a houseguest for one or more nights (unless it’s a close relative or friend who is doing the hosting).
Thank you notes are not required in the following situations, but would still be a nice gesture:
• After being a guest at a dinner party.
• After a job interview (not required, but definitely a smart idea).
• When a friend has helped you out with a special favor such as babysitting, a meal when you were sick, or running errands for you.

The Don’ts of Thank You Notes
Don’t delay in sending thank you notes. Generally notes should be sent within a week of receipt of the gift or gesture. Being busy is not an excuse for neglecting a written thank you. To tell someone (who has spent time and money on a gift for you) that you are too busy to acknowledge their efforts is bad manners. The only exception to this timing is thank you notes for hospital gifts which should be sent as soon as the patient is well enough to send them, whenever that is.

There’s no need to fib if you dislike a gift. Even if something is not to your taste, you should still show appreciation for the gift and the time, money and thought that went into selecting it for you. You can always say “Thank you for the thoughtful gift. I will always think of you whenever I see it.”

Linda K. Beech is Cottonwood District Extension Agent for Family and Consumer Sciences.

The last article I wrote about Easter being special. It was special because my six-month-old grandson, Alex, came to our house. It was his first Easter. It was the first time I saw him crawl.

Along the way, I discovered if I really wanted to communicate with Alex I needed to get on his level. What I mean by that is I needed to get on the floor and get eye to eye with him. I had to travel with him on my hands and knees to see what the world looked like from his point of view.

We played for quite a while on the floor. He showed me stuff and I showed him stuff. He verbalized things that I did not understand, but I know it was him trying to communicate with me. I am sure I said a lot of things to him he could not quite figure out, but both our communications involved an exchange of love.
I do not sit still very well. I tend to always have some kind of project going on. It may be work related or it may be recreational, but I just have a hard time sitting still.

Sometimes I have a difficult time shutting off my mind. So, even if I am trying to watch a television show with my wife, or if I am at a play at the Encore Series, my mind seems to be racing on trying to figure out something, or worried about something that is going on.

I thought it was pretty amazing when I was crawling on the floor with Alex that my total attention was on him. All I cared about was spending that precious time that we had together, one on one.

Alex was at our home Saturday evening and most of Sunday. He went to church. I was that obnoxious grandparent holding my grandson, so proud of him. I feel so blessed to have a grandson. I am so blessed to have that time to spend with him.

It was so interesting after Alex left. I certainly was heartsick that I was not going to see him for a while, but, do you know what I discovered?

I discovered that I had really taken a time out. My mind had been totally on Alex; it was not on work; it was not on projects that I needed to get done; it was on Alex.

For a while, Alex helped me relax. For a while, Alex helped me remember what was important in much of my life.

Many times I have families come to me with so much going on. Perhaps there has been a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or some other chronic illness. Perhaps there is a situation with an adult child and that child’s marriage. Perhaps there are financial issues. Perhaps there is the prospect of needing long-term care.

My hope is that they will all have an Alex event in their life: a time when they can completely shut down, relax, and enjoy the moment.

Alex is only six months old, but he has already reminded me of a lot of important things in life, such as taking time to be with my family.

Alex, thanks for a great Easter. I am looking forward to many, many more.

Randy Clinkscales of Clinkscales Elder Law Practice, PA, Hays, Kansas, is an elder care attorney, practicing in western Kansas. To contact him, please send an email to [email protected]. Disclaimer: The information in the column is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Each case is different and outcomes depend on the fact of each case and the then applicable law. For specific questions, you should contact a qualified attorney.

By KURT BEYERS

A while back I told a group of my Christian friends that God had told me Trump is a son of Satan. Trump voters all, most of them took exception. One asked if that meant he is going to hell because he voted for Trump. Naturally, he didn’t ask me this because he thought I knew the answer. He asked because he thought I was being a partisan jerk.

Which I was, but only a little, and only in style, not substance, because let’s be clear: Trump is a son of Satan. God did and continues to confirm me in that perception. Christian or non-Christian, people should know this about Trump.

Trump, God love him, does not know this about Trump. Things of the Spirit, other than certain words he needs to use with certain audiences as part of his con game, do not register with him. One of my prayers is that some day he will wake up and repent.

What started me thinking of Trump in spiritual terms was his almost exact resemblance to Simon the Magician in Acts 8:9-10a (NASB): “Now there was a man named Simon, who formerly was practicing magic in the city and astonishing the people of Samaria, claiming to be someone great; and they all, from smallest to greatest, were giving attention to him.”

Then I found a partial transcript of a meeting Trump had with about a thousand self-proclaimed leaders of a large part of American evangelical Christianity. The meeting was so that Trump could appeal for their votes and the votes of the millions of Christians they lead, who are mad and scared about the way the world looks. By far the large majority of the people at that meeting went out and implicitly if not explicitly pushed Trump as God’s choice for president.

I went wrong in thinking that was the day Trump officially became a son of Satan. But he didn’t. Trump and Simon came out of their respective meetings as exactly the same people they were going in.

The difference was that Simon met apostles – who knew Jesus’ name was not theirs to sell. When Simon offered cash money for a Jesus franchise, he came away with nothing but a rebuke.

Trump met with Jerry Falwell Jr., Franklin Graham, Mike Huckabee and those others like them.Trump offered judges. Trump offered his audience the freedom to endorse candidates and keep their tax-free status. Trump offered to make people say “Merry Christmas” again. He came away with everything he wanted.

You can find the transcript here: https://yhoo.it/28RorZ6.

If anybody officially became sons of Satan that day in June 2016, it was the people who agreed to use their status as disciples of Jesus to market Trump under a Jesus brand. I wonder whether they ever pray that someday Trump will see the light. A Christian would.

Is their regard for Trump the same as his for them – a straight-up deal? I wonder if that’s the real meaning of some Christians’ defense of their votes for Trump: “I don’t like him, but I like his policies.” It’s like this: Is a deal with the devil – or the son of the devil – really a deal with the devil if you get a Neil Gorsuch out of it?

The foundation of Trump’s appeal is indisputably fear and anger. “Indisputable” because nobody disputes it. His supporters love him for it. His opponents don’t.

Set aside the constant lies, the vicious slanders and personal attacks, the relentless self-glorification, and you are still left with the fact that no vision of the Christian God is holy if it is built on fear and anger based in the institutions, customs and manners of this world. Jesus, quoting Isaiah, in Mark 7:6-7: “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.”

This applies whether you’re talking 1st-century Pharisaic handwashing rituals or 21st-century American social customs and immigration laws.

Is my friend going to hell because he voted for Trump? I don’t think so, and I don’t even think he needs to ask forgiveness for being a Trump voter, at least not forgiveness from God.

Of course, I can’t say for sure. I know how grandiose it sounds to say something like “Donald Trump is a son of hell and James Dobson is too.” I know I am not God, and I know I am not a good Christian, so I end up asking God about a lot of things, which lately have included Donald Trump’s relation to hell: “Hey, Father. Here is what I’m thinking. Am I right or not? Please tell me.”

And He did, and He gave me this one thing to say: Donald Trump is a son of Satan. Period.

For myself, I say that I believe my friends, like so many others, have fallen for a monstrous con. In saying it I am only trying to apply lessons they have taught me. Most of the men in that group I was talking about at the beginning are among the people who introduced me to Jesus.

Their essential characters of charity, grace and mercy come from long-term, in some cases lifelong, association with Jesus. These men helped persuade me by many examples that the Son of God was – is – real. Therefore, seen in the spiritual light they helped turn on for me, their support for Trump and his “policies” is absolutely incomprehensible.

So my answer to the question I began with – Is a vote for Trump a ticket to hell? – is the same as it is for all spiritual questions: “Ask God.”

Kurt Beyers, a former journalist, works in public relations at Fort Hays State University.

“Labs are not important” was the conclusion of a recent article in a physics education journal. The basis for this conclusion was a college experiment. Students in a large physics lecture class were divided into two groups, half who also took the physics lab and half who did not. Analysis of their lecture class tests showed absolutely no difference in performance.

Of course! It was not a lab test.

But the authors and the journal reviewers saw no difference.
For over 20 years, with the ascendancy of computer simulations, I have seen the same cluelessness in the journal Advances in Physiology Education. Again and again, a lab-versus-no-lab or lab-versus-computer-simulation would be “tested” and show no differences in student performance. Sometimes the article provided sample questions. Other times I had to contact the author. When I saw the questions, they were—you guessed it!—lecture questions.

I would ask the experimenter why he did not set up lab questions, such as the dissected critter with labeled pins stuck in various organs, and ask the student to identity the organ?
“Oh, that would be unfair!” was always the reply. Absolutely clueless!

Any veteran science teacher has given tests or quizzes where the student gets the question correct when identifying a structure on a diagram in a written lecture test, but then got the question wrong when asked to actually identity the exact same structure in a real specimen.

Seeing a structure on a computer screen is no improvement because much anatomy is identified by actually detecting where the structure came from or is going to. It is “hands on.”

And do any of us want a doctor, nurse or veterinarian whose only experience with anatomy was on a video screen?
One of the most important aspects of real labs is seeing that not all specimens are picture-perfect or identical with the perfect illustration selected for the textbook or computer-screen. Indeed, a lab cat with four kidneys instead of two is not uncommon. When these variations are discovered, the lab instructor will call everyone over to see the anomaly. That variation-from-the-norm is a lesson that you want your doctor, nurse and all other health care workers to understand.

To really understand how to conduct physics experiments or discern anatomy is a hands-on experience. That requires hands-on tests to evaluate that new understanding. Textbook tests don’t cut it.

I had an alternate route student teacher who understood this well. Her major was biology. When I visited her biology class in a rural Kansas school a few years back, she did fairly well. I also stayed for her next period class which was in earth sciences. She did not have any advanced college courses in earth sciences. So her teaching was straight-from-the-book. It was obvious—not only to me but to every high school student in her classroom—that she was only one day ahead of them in class.

I returned to my university and asked earth science professors to donate their extra textbooks. Textbook companies send professors potential textbooks and only one gets adopted; my colleagues usually have a supply of alternate texts laying around. The next time I visited my alt-route teacher, I gave her this stack of earth science books so she could self-study and have some examples to use in class that were different from the high school textbook.

She said “Thank you, but I really need to take these courses and their labs.”

That was a brilliant answer, but I asked her why she thought that.

“I need the labs so I know what I am talking about. Otherwise its just words in the book. To me. And to the students. And I need to learn to use the lab equipment, so I can show my kids how to do the science. And I need to know more so I can help the bright student who wants to learn more.”

Wow! What a reply.

I told her that I wished I could drive her up to the State Board and have her repeat what she had just told me, because the Board had just voted to let teachers add another teaching field by just taking a test—a lecture test. The Board was clueless about the importance of laboratory experiences. And so were those authors and reviewers of the physics and anatomy journals.

John Richard Schrock is a professor at Emporia State University.