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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/24/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Genie Joke

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie!

The genie says, “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.”

The man says “Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.”

Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand!

He continues, “Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here.”

Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red, brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him!

He continues, “Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.”

Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

 

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Man pleads guilty in terrorist attack plot on train station in Kansas City

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (AP) — A 28-year-old man charged with plotting a terrorist attack on buses, trains and a train station in Kansas City has pleaded guilty to one count.

Hester-photo Columbia Police

Robert Lorenzo Hester, of Columbia, Mo., entered his plea Monday to providing material support or resources to terrorists.

Federal prosecutors charged Hester in February 2017 after a monthslong FBI investigation.

An affidavit released at the time said undercover agents posing as Islamic State sympathizers met with Hester several times. At their request, he provided materials such as nails and duct tape that he believed would be used to create bombs.

An FBI employee told Hester the attacks were planned for Presidents Day in Kansas City.

Hester received an honorable discharge from the U.S. Army in mid-2013 after serving for less than a year.

HHS girls’ golf wins Salina South Invitational

SALINA – The Hays High girls’ golf shot a 342 and won the Salina South Invitational by six shots over the host Cougars Monday at the Salina Municipal Golf Course.

Sophia Garrison led the way for Hays with a 5-over-par 75 and finished second, two shots off the pace. Her round included an albatross on the par-5 seventh.

Taleia McCrae fired an 84 and finished eighth.

Team Results
1. Hays High 342
2. Salina South 348
3. Maize 348
4. Manhattan 350
5. Great Bend 366
6. Hutchinson 372
7. Derby 385
8. Newton 387
9. Dodge City 387
10. Goddard-Eisenhower 391
11. Salina Central 399
12. Haysville Campus 429

Top 10 Medalists
1. Abby Donovan Concordia Derby 73
2. Sophia Garrison Hays High 75
3. Lexie Ridder Maize 75
4. Nina Frees Salina South 77
5. Reaghan Martin Hutchinson 80
6. Andi Siebert Manhattan 81
7. Cailee McMullen Great Bend 82
8. Taleia McCrae Hays High 84
9. Zoe Norton Salina South 84
10. Mallory Seirer Newton 85

FHSU Science and Mathematics Education Institute accepted into 100Kin10 network

FHSU University Relations

FHSU’s Science and Mathematics Education Institute will join a national effort to increase the national teaching pool of qualified STEM teachers.

FHSU’s SMEI is transforming the future of rural Kansas and across the country through innovation, ingenuity and radical outcomes.

The state of STEM Education at the end of 2018, 2.4 million STEM jobs were projected to go unfilled according to an article by iD Tech. Among the reasons given for the shortages include access to and qualification for STEM teacher certification, which is a problem especially for women and minorities, and beginner STEM education, which is not readily available early in a child’s life.

SMEI’s specific effort will focus on developing strategies to ensure success in recruiting and retention of STEM teachers in rural areas.

“Partnering with 100Kin10 will allow us to connect with a nationwide network of organizations to share innovative ideas and expertise, which will help build our capacity to advance STEM education and improve our work,” said Earl Legleiter, SMEI director.

“Joining also allows us to make proposals, do research, and find solutions to the national STEM teacher shortage,” he said.

“Our specific interest and contribution is with rural schools,” said Dr. Paul Adams, dean of FHSU’s College of Education. “We will take part in research on what works to recruit and retain STEM teachers in rural settings.”

Adams indicated this is an important extension of SMEI’s ongoing efforts to address the needs of STEM teachers in rural America as part of their two National Science Foundation grants already in progress.

RELATED: KU to close Center for STEM Learning and  program to attract math and science teachers.

The 100Kin10 network has already shown significant signs of growth and success.

Launched in 2011 as an answer to President Obama’s call during his 2011 State of the Union address to train 100,000 new STEM teachers in a decade, 100Kin10 is on track to exceeding the goal of training 100,000 teachers by 2021, with more than 68,000 teachers currently trained.

Existing partners and an expert panel vetted and selected the 41 new programmatic partners, including Fort Hays State University, and six funding partners that have officially joined the network base.

The new partners are joining a network of more than 280 current partners, including the nation’s top academic institutions, nonprofits, foundations, companies and government agencies. All partners register their commitments to ending the STEM teacher shortage through 100Kin10 and support one another to achieve those commitments by exchanging expertise, learning and resources.

FHSU’s Brown named MIAA Special Teams Athlete of the Week

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Fort Hays State senior kicker Dante Brown earned MIAA Special Teams Athlete of the Week on Monday (Sept. 23) for his efforts in the 41-38 overtime win at Washburn this past Saturday. This is his first time receiving the honor this year.

Brown made two critical field goals to lift Fort Hays State to a 41-38 win at Washburn in overtime. Brown’s first make came at the end of regulation, hitting a 24-yard attempt as time expired to force overtime. After FHSU created a stop on defense in overtime, Brown won the game with a 30-yard field goal. It snapped a string of nine straight losses by the Tigers at Yager Stadium in Topeka. Brown finished the game with 11 points, adding a 5-of-5 effort on PAT attempts to his two field goals.

Brown was a five-time recipient of this honor last season, when he went on to receive MIAA Special Teams Player of the Year and Don Hansen Football Committee National Special Teams Player of the Year honors.

Brown joined Central Missouri quarterback Brook Bolles (Offensive Athlete of the Week) and Northwest Missouri State defensive back Jerrell Green (Defensive Athlete of the Week) as recipients of the conference honors this week.

YOUNKER: Fall cover crop options

Dale Younker is a Soil Health Specialist with the USDA Natural Resources Conservation Service in Jetmore.

With fall harvest underway in many parts of the state now is the time to think about planting a cover crop after your fall grain crop is harvested. A cover crop can provide many soil health benefits. This includes building organic matter, improving soil porosity, increasing nutrient cycling, and increasing soil water holding capacity. A cover crop can also provide excellent weed suppression and a fair amount of livestock forage through the winter and spring if planted timely.

Putting the right cover crop mix together is essential in having a successful planting. The species you use in the mix will depend on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are wanting to break up some compaction include some deep tap rooted plants like radishes, turnips, rape and other species from the brassica family. If increasing organic matter and water holding capacity is your goal plant a species with a vigorous fibrous root system. Winter cereal grains like triticale, barley, wheat and rye would be good choices.

To increase infiltration a combination of deep-rooted and fibrous rooted plants should be used. Decaying tap roots provide channels for water to directly infiltrate into the soil. Fibrous rooted plant help feed the soil microbes. These bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms produce the organic glues that help bind the individual soil particles of sand, silt and clay into larger soil aggregates. This provides more pore space in the soil where water can infiltrate when it rains.

For grazing you will want to have a mix that is predominately a winter cereal grain, like wheat, barley, triticale or rye. Mixes that are heavy with these species are also good for weed suppression since they cover and shade the ground quickly and compete well with weeds.

It is best to get the cover crop planted as soon as possible after the cash crop is harvested. This will give the cover crop time to get established and get some growth before it gets to cold. If

the planting ends up being past the end of October, you will want to select species that have a fair amount of cold and frost tolerance. Triticale, rye and cold tolerant brassica plants work well in these situations.

Always consider the economics of planting a cover crop. There is no reason to plant a $30.00 – $40.00 mix when one that cost $15.00 will do the job. Wheat may be a good choice to use as a cover crop given its current price.

For more information about this or other soil health practices you can contact me at [email protected] or any local NRCS office.

Dale Younker is a Soil Health Specialist with the USDA Natural Resources Conservation Service in Jetmore.

Kansas deputies use drone to arrest criminal threat suspect

Dover photo Jackson Co.

JACKSON COUNTY — Law enforcement authorities are investigating a suspect on numerous charges after an incident at a home in Jackson County.

Just after 5p.m. Sunday, the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office received a 911 call in reference to a domestic situation in the 17000 block of 190th Road west of the City of Denison, according to Sheriff Tim Morse.

Jackson County Deputies responded to the area.  The suspect in the incident allegedly fled from the scene on foot.

The sheriff’s office deployed a drone to assist in the search for the suspect identified as Ronald Bruce Dover, 42, of Denison. He was located just southeast of the scene and arrested.

Bruce was transported to the Jackson County Jail where he faces charges of criminal threat, domestic battery, endangering a child and criminal restraint. He remains in custody on a $20,000 bond, according to online jail records.

United Way Dine Out Day today at The Press

The United Way of Ellis County will be hosting their first Dine-Out Day this year with The Press on Tuesday, Sept. 24th from 11a.m. to 8 p.m. at 230 E. Eight S. in Hays. Come join us for lunch or dinner at The Press. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the United Way and their 17 partner agencies. Watch for upcoming Dine-Out Days with participating restaurants online at www.liveunited.us or Facebook at United Way of Ellis County. Call 785-628-8281 for more information.

News From the Oil Patch, Sept. 23

By JOHN P. TRETBAR

Authorities approved 34 new drilling permits across Kansas last week, 725 so far this year. There are 15 permits for drilling at new locations east of Wichita, and 19 in Western Kansas, including two in Butler County, and one each in Ellis, Russell and Stafford counties.

Independent Oil & Gas Service reports just five new well-completions across Kansas, one of those was in Ellis County. Operators have completed 998 wells across the state so far this year.

Baker Hughes reported a big drop in its weekly Rotary Rig Count Friday. Across the U.S. there are just 868 active drilling rigs, down 14 oil rigs and down five seeking natural gas. The count in Oklahoma was down ten rigs, and Texas was down seven.

There was a slight increase in the drilling rig count in Kansas. Independent Oil & Gas Service reports nine active rigs in the eastern half of the state, up one, and 28 west of Wichita, also up one.

New numbers from the Kansas Geological Survey confirm federal reports of an ongoing decline in crude-oil production in Kansas, despite a spike in national production totals. The latest state numbers show Kansas operators pumped a total of 13.77 million barrels of crude oil statewide through May of this year, down about a million barrels from a year ago. An earlier, federal report placed the total slightly higher at 13.9 million barrels through May. KGS said Barton County production was down 5% from the same figure last year, at just over 4,500 barrels per day. May production in Ellis County increased over the month before, but total production through May was down 4.7% from a year ago, at 1.04 million barrels. In Russell County operators produced more than 4,100 barrels per day, and Stafford County production topped 2,800 barrels per day through the first five months of the year.

Nationally, crude production continues at record pace. EIA reported the second-largest weekly U.S. crude-production total ever, just 77,000 barrels per day less than the record 12.5 million barrels per day produced three weeks earlier.

The government said commercial crude-oil inventories were up more than a million barrels for the week, but remained about two percent below the five-year seasonal average at 417.1 million barrels.

For the first time in over a year, U.S. oil-by-rail traffic declined last week, amid a five percent drop in all freight train traffic. The Association of American Railroads reported 11,692 train cars hauling petroleum and petroleum products during the week ended September 14. That’s a drop of more than twelve percent compared to the same week a year ago. The year-to-date cumulative total remains nearly eighteen percent over the total by this time last year. Oil-by-rail has shown growth in AAR’s weekly reports for about two years, when the spike in U.S. production outpaced our pipeline capacity.

North Dakota regulators reported record-high production of crude oil and natural gas in July. The Department of Mineral Resources reported total crude production of 44.7 million barrels, or more than 1.44 million barrels per day. DMR reported 15,943 active wells across North Dakota, which is also an all-time high.

Hays dentist receives award from Academy of General Dentistry

Jeffrey H. Lowe, DDS

The Academy of General Dentistry is pleased to announce Jeffrey Lowe, D.D.S. of  Hays, Kansas, received the prestigious Fellowship Award during the AGD’s convocation ceremony, a commencement celebration that recognizes AGD member’s commitment to excellence in dental education.

During the event, which was at the AGD’s scientific session on Saturday, July 20 at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, Dr. Lowe accepted this award along with about 240 other recipients.

The Fellowship Award is presented to dentists looking to provide the highest quality of dental care by remaining current in their profession. In order to receive this award, Dr. Lowe completed 500 hours of continuing dental education, passed a comprehensive written exam and fulfilled three years of continuing membership with the AGD.

As a recipient of this award, Dr. Lowe  has joined an elite group of more than 17,080 members of the dental community who understand that great smiles and good oral health for their patients are the result of going above and beyond basic requirements. The Fellowship Award symbolizes excellence in the dental profession and a commitment to providing exceptional patient care.

“The AGD is designed to influence professional growth and development through continuing education, and we are proud to honor Dr. Lowe for his commitment and dedication to provide his patients with advanced and exceptional oral health care,” says AGD President Neil J. Gajjar, DDS, MAGD. “Dr. Lowe is exceeding industry requirements and paving a path of success distinguishing himself professionally amongst his peers and exemplifying his allegiance to the dental community.”

Dr. Lowe  graduated from The University of Nebraska Medical Center College of Dentistry in 1997 and currently practices dentistry at Lifetime Dental Care in Hays.

O’Rourke campaign takes threat by Kan. soldier seriously

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Latest on an Army soldier from Fort Riley accused of sharing bomb-making instructions online and targeting left-leaning activists (all times local):

O’Rourke at a campaign event in Oklahoma last month photo courtesy O’Rourke for president campaign

The presidential campaign of former Texas Rep. Beto O’Rourke says it is in direct contact with the FBI regarding the case of an Army soldier accused of sharing bomb-making instructions online and targeting left-leaning activists.

When an FBI undercover agent asked Jarrett William Smith if there was anyone in Texas who would be a good fit for “fire, destruction and death,” Smith reportedly replied, “Outside of Beto? I don’t know enough people that would be relevant enough to cause a change if they died.”

O’Rourke spokeswoman Aleigha Cavalier said in an emailed statement that they take any threat like this very seriously. The campaign says this isn’t about any one person or one campaign, and they “won’t let this scare us or cause us to back down in fighting for what’s right.”

The 24-year-old soldier was stationed at Fort Riley in Kansas.

Trump administration revises overtime rules for U.S. workers

By CHRISTOPHER RUGABER
AP Economics Writer

WASHINGTON — The Trump administration has issued a rule that will make overtime pay available to 1.3 million additional workers, though the proposal replaces a more generous one advanced by former President Barack Obama.

The Labor Department said Tuesday that it is raising the salary level that companies will have to pay to exempt workers from overtime to $35,568 a year, up from $23,660. Americans earning less than that amount will typically be paid time and a half for any work over 40 hours a week.

The new rule will benefit retail, fast-food restaurant, and home health care workers, as well as other lower-paid workers. Many employees in those industries have been paid just above the $23,660 threshold, which has been in place since 2004, and then required to work overtime without extra pay.

Many worker rights’ group and left-of-center economists criticized the move, however, for covering far fewer workers than an earlier proposal issued by the Obama administration in 2015.

Under Obama, the Labor Department proposed raising the threshold to more than $47,000, which would have made nearly 5 million more workers eligible for overtime. That rule, however, was struck down in court after being challenged by states and business groups.

Christine Owens, executive director of the National Employment Law Project, also criticized the new rule for not including a provision to regularly increase the threshold. Obama’s proposal would have indexed the level to wage growth and adjusted it every three years.

“The Trump Labor Department’s rule says that if you make more than $35,568 a year, you’re a highly paid executive, administrator, or professional who doesn’t need overtime pay,” Owens said.

In the 1970s, more than 60% of workers were eligible for overtime pay, said Heidi Shierholz, an economist at the left-leaning Economic Policy Institute. That figure fell to just 7% in 2016. The threshold hasn’t been increased since 2004.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce praised the rule, arguing that it provides more flexibility for employers in managing their staffs.

“The new overtime salary threshold is a balanced and responsible update to the standard that has been in place for 15 years,” said Marc Freedman, vice president of workplace policy at the Chamber.

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