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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 4/23/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Muffling Response

The owner of a construction company lived where winters were very fierce. He felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.

Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn’t wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day, the owner asked, “Didn’t you like the muffs?”

The Foreman said, “They were a thing of beauty. They kept my ears toasty
warm, and I was able to work all day in perfect comfort.”

“Then why aren’t you wearing them?” the owner asked.

“I wore them the first day,” the foreman explained, “and somebody
offered to buy me lunch, but I didn’t hear him! I’ll never make that
mistake again!”

 

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Fort Hays State shotgun team celebrates pinnacle season

By DIANE GASPER-O’BRIEN
FHSU University Relations and Marketing

The last time a Fort Hays State University team finished a season as undefeated national champions, Austin Svoboda was a toddler who hadn’t yet celebrated his second birthday, and Riley Ross had not even been born.

That was 1996, when the Tiger men’s basketball team completed a 34-0 season winning the NCAA Division II national championship.

It took 23 years, but an FHSU team recorded a similar feat this year.

Led by standout senior Svoboda and up-and-coming sophomore Ross, the shotgun team completed an undefeated season this school year, highlighted by national championships both semesters.

After winning the Scholarship Clay Target Program (SCTP) national title for the second time in three years last fall, Fort Hays State last month avenged its loss in last year’s Association of College Unions International (ACUI) Clay Target Championships, where it finished second.

FHSU won six meets in the fall season and four this spring to finish 10-0 for the 2018-19 school year.

Claiming first place in four team events and second in two others, Fort Hays State beat runner-up Martin Methodist College out of Tennessee by 10 points at the ACUI season finale in San Antonio, Texas, last month. That was the same team that FHSU beat at the SCTP national meet in Marengo, Ohio, last November.

Those titles were in Division II – for schools with 10 to 20 competitors. The ACUI meet featured 884 total competitors from 91 schools in four divisions.

“It was definitely a goal to win (the ACUI) after finishing second last year,” Svoboda said. “We wanted to come back and take this one, especially since we are graduating five people.”

It was the fifth national team championship for Fort Hays State – to go along with five runner-up performances – since 2011.

“They knew they were capable of performing at a higher level last year,” said Duane Shepherd, in his 14th year of coaching the shotgun team. “They entered this year with a mission in mind and went out and achieved it.”

Svoboda has played an integral part of FHSU teams since 2012, and his swan song was one to remember. He claimed first place individually in two events and was a member of all four team event winners for Fort Hays State in claiming the individual high overall award.

Shepherd said that Svoboda’s focus has always been on team first. But he admitted that “it’s pretty hard to deny what he has accomplished as an individual.”

“He is very talented individually,” Shepherd said. “He has the competitive mental game where he can turn it on and turn it off.”

Ross, who grew up near Svoboda – both are from Nebraska – said he has been watching, and trying to emulate, Svoboda for years.

“I watched him all through high school, and he never ceases to amaze me what he can shoot,” Ross said. “Whenever you heard that Austin Svoboda was going to shoot, you always wanted to go watch.”

Ross, who had been shooting since he was 4 years old, learned his junior year in high school that FHSU had a shotgun team. Finding out that Svoboda went there didn’t hurt, either.

“I went to a shoot here my junior year, and I found out they had a good ag major, so it was in the back of my mind from there on,” Ross said. “I knew then that this is where I was going to go.”

Ross fit in with the shotgun team immediately, winning the high overall individual award at nationals as a freshman.

Last month, he was a member of three first-place teams and one runner-up team, grabbing All-America honors along with seniors Cody Escritt, Jake Whipple, Jerrod Lies and Josh Crankshaw.

Svoboda, in his sixth year at FHSU, was missing from that list only because competitors can only be named All-American four years, and he accomplished that feat two years ago.

Escritt, Whipple and Lies are three of the graduating seniors along with Svoboda, but Whipple will be back for another year while pursuing a graduate degree.

Whipple was a member of three first-place team events and one runner-up at nationals and will be counted on to help lead next year’s team along with Ross.

Ross said he is up to the challenge.

“Austin is just a great team leader, and I’ve learned a lot from him,” Ross said. “He is irreplaceable. We will just need to step it up and carry on.”

In addition to being named All-American, Escritt finished first in two individual events and recorded a perfect score of 100. Several of the seniors scored in the high 90s at nationals.

“It was rewarding to see those seniors to go out on such a high note,” Shepherd said.

He pointed out several reasons the shotgun team is successful year after year, both in and out of the classroom.

“I’m proud of the fact that these kids are here of their own accord, because we don’t have scholarships for our shotgun team,” Shepherd said. “They come in with a commitment in mind – to be successful on the team and in academics. They are all pulling for a common goal, and they support each other well. They get their education and graduate.”

Team members will tell you there are two more reasons for their success – Shepherd and his wife, Teresa.

“It wouldn’t be a program without them,” Ross said. “Duane always says he’s the bus driver, but he does so much more – and a lot behind the scenes. And Teresa is the team mom. She takes care of us so well.”

Shepherd agreed that his wife adds to the program.

“She’s an integral part of this group,” he said. “In fact, she’s the driving force. We complement each other well.”

While the graduating seniors are looking ahead to their future, they feel the shotgun team will continue to excel without them.

“Riley Ross is very talented,” Svoboda said, “and we have some people down the bench who can shoot good scores at about any time. It’s their time to shine now.”

Shepherd agreed.

“There’s no doubt about it, we will miss these young people who are leaving the program. They put a lot of time into developing their skills,” he said. “But we had a junior varsity this year, and they are ready to step up and start writing their chapter in this book.”

Following are the names of students who competed at the ACUI nationals last month and the FHSU results.
AKRON, Colo.: Jenny Schoenecker, senior
BURWELL, Neb.: Austin Svoboda, senior
CAMBRIDGE, Neb.: Jake Whipple, senior
COLBY: Keegan Morgan, senior
Jay Ziegelmeier, senior
JANESVILLE, Wis.: Luke Heinzen, junior
JEWELL: Michael Saint, graduate student
MINNEOLA: Jerrod Lies, senior
NORTH PLATTE, Neb.: Josh Crankshaw, senior
PINE VALLEY, Calif.: Heather Gordon, junior
PLEASANTON: Hunter Secrest, sophomore
PLEASANTON, Neb.: Cody Escritt, senior
ST. PAUL, Neb.: Riley Ross, sophomore
TOPEKA: Wyatt Pursell, junior
YODER: Cordell Waggoner, sophomore

FHSU results from ACUI nationals
Individual awards
• Svoboda – Individual HOA; first, men’s trap; first, men’s international trap; first, combined trap.
• Escritt – first, men’s American all-around; first, trap and skeet for men’s combined American;
• NRA All-Americans – Crankshaw, Escritt, Lies, Ross, Whipple.

Team awards
• HOA (highest overall) – first, Division II.
• American trap – first: Svoboda, Escritt, Whipple, Lies, Crankshaw (497 out out 500).
• International trap – first: Svoboda, Ross, Whipple (287 out of 300).
• Sporting clays – first: Svoboda, Escritt, Lies, Crankshaw, Ross (446 out 500).
• Super sporting – first: Svoboda, Ross, Escritt, Purcell, Hippie (478 out of 500).
• American skeet – second: Escritt, Saint, Whipple, Lies, Waggoner (487 out of 500).
• American all-around – first (trap, skeet, sporting clays and super sporting combined).

Monte Selby: Grammy Award winner, educator to be at ESU this summer

Selby

EMPORIA — An area native, former teacher, administrator and faculty member at Emporia State is returning home for a few days this summer. Dr. Monte Selby will be at the 2019 Kansas Future Teacher Academy in June.

Selby has Hays ties, as well. He was an assistant principal and principal at Felten Middle School in Hays from 1989 to 1996.

For 30 years, Kansas high school students looking toward the future have had the opportunity to see whether they want to be among the future generation of teachers, coaches, counselors, education researchers, speech therapists – every profession beginning with a degree in education.

“Monte worked with the academy for a number of years,” said Dr. Roger Caswell, director of the academy. “When we were looking at what to do to make this year a little bit more special, it seemed natural to invite him back to the academy.”

Selby works as a trainer and consultant, writing music with K-12 students. He’s co-written eight books and composed more than 100 published songs, including the 2012 Grammy Award Winning Album Check Your Attitude. He tours using songwriting as a teaching tool for children and adults at workshops and conferences worldwide.

Applications are being accepted for the 30th annual Kansas Future Teacher Academy; the application is available at www.emporia.edu/teach/kfta/. Current high school freshmen, sophomores and juniors are eligible to apply. Applications need to be submitted by April 19. The fee to attend is $100; all meals, lodging and materials are provided to participants through the academy.

“KFTA was one of the best experiences,” said Hayley Yocum, a graduate of St. Mary’s High School who attended the academy in 2013. “It is a great experience, and I’m so thankful for all the friends I met and information I received.”

“I have had opportunities I would not have been able to have without KFTA,” said Caitlin McAndrew-Beckman, an academy alumnus who attended Lawrence Free State High School. “Through KFTA, I have really been able to solidify what I want to do in my future.”

The KFTA will be held June 9-13, 2019, at Emporia State University.

“Our goal is two-fold for the students: give them an overview of the process of becoming a teacher – including developing a lesson and working with children – and provide them with a keyhole experience of what it would be like to attend college as an education major,” said Caswell.

Funding for the academy is provided by the Kansas Legislature and is coordinated by the Jones Institute for Educational Excellence at ESU. For more information about the academy, visit www.emporia.edu/teach/kfta/ or contact Caswell at 620-341-5372.

 

FHSU grad surprised with $10,000 prize on ‘Ellen’ show

Fort Hays State University graduate Addy Tritt, whose story about buying out the Hays Payless store to help Nebraska flood victims went viral, appeared on “The Ellen Degeneres Show” on Monday. The show airs at 4 p.m. CST on Eagle channel 10 and 610.

Ellen surprised Tritt with a game of “Holey Roller” — which Tritt “won.” The prize money Tritt is coming home with is made possible by Cheerios.

Watch below, courtesy www.ellentube.com.

HAWVER: Kan. Legislature received underwhelming revenue report

Martin Hawver
Well, we got last week the Consensus Revenue Estimate (CRE) for the upcoming two years of government in Kansas, and it was so low-key that you could have worn the same shirt the next day. No excitement.

That CRE, assembled by a group of state fiscal experts and university economics professors, predicts the state is going to take in about $15 million more in the next two years than most of us thought. Oh, there was good news in that the tiny predicted increases of money for the state to spend came after the Legislature and governor had spent $115 million this spring to repay money borrowed from the Kansas Public Employee Retirement System. So, the estimate on which the budget will be crafted reflects spending that most would consider reasonable.

But … there was no excitement. For a Legislature that stands for re-election next year, it wasn’t bad news — no tax increases needed to keep the Statehouse doors open — but also not enough increase in revenues to support much of a tax cut for those Kansans who will vote next fall on whether to send their legislator back to indoor parking, drinks and meals from lobbyists and, oh yes…running state government.

Practically, that CRE means that there isn’t any real need for a tax increase—except maybe taxing some of that neat stuff you buy over the Internet and wait two days to be delivered. That’s almost a freebie. Sales-tax that Internet stuff like you tax the sales at brick and mortar stores which sell the same stuff. Doesn’t sound very radical, does it?

The low CRE increase isn’t all bad news. It might actually have the effect of finally spending some money on things like, well, K-12 finance, on social workers and prison guards and those social policies that don’t show up for all of us, but which make the state a better place to live and maybe provide better lives for those who live here.

That isn’t the sort of policy/spending that leads to exciting discussions at the screen door between candidates and voters, or that leads to fascinating palm cards to hand out, but it probably means that lawmakers get to spend time concentrating on better management, more effective programs and a more businesslike government.

So, what’s possible with the meager increase in state revenues?

Look for some little tax cuts, specifically targeted to improve lives. Not the $130 million that corporations wanted. When there’s not much money to spend, lawmakers tend to focus on voters, not corporations.

And with not much money for tax cuts, that mostly-for-show one percent cut in the sales tax on food likely will be thought through a little better than what was mostly decoration on the tax cut bill vetoed by Gov. Laura Kelly. Remember that? As icing on the corporate/upper-middle class tax reduction bill, lawmakers cut the sales tax on groceries by a penny on the dollar. Spend $10 at the grocery store? You save a dime. Not exactly the way to see Kansans better finance their rent or car payments or kids’ school clothes, is it? There are surely better ways to help the poor than with pocket change that won’t even buy a candy bar.

Nope, no excitement from the revenue estimate. Sorta like catching your car door before it swings out and bangs the other car. But there’s a dab of money there and while it will take a little longer to explain, those social programs, health care, prison guards, pre-school education for children all pay off as good investments.

Just not very flashy.

Syndicated by Hawver News Company LLC of Topeka; Martin Hawver is publisher of Hawver’s Capitol Report—to learn more about this nonpartisan statewide political news service, visit the website at www.hawvernews.com

FHSU’s Stramel leads keynote session at conference in United Kingdom

Stramel
Fort Hays State University’s Dr. Janet Stramel, associate professor of teacher education, spoke at last week’s Association of Teachers of Mathematics conference in Kenilworth, United Kingdom.

Stramel led her keynote presentation “Keywords Are Not the Key to Solving Word Problems” for approximately 350 mathematics teachers.

The Association of Teachers of Mathematics is the United Kingdom’s state-wide mathematics conferences for P12 teachers. The conference offers an opportunity for mathematics teachers to explore new ideas and make social and professional connections.

— FHSU University Relations

Youth farm safety program Saturday

K-State Research & Extension will be offering a Hazardous Occupation Safety Training for Agriculture or Tractor and Farm Safety Course on Saturday, April 27, 2019. This course will be held at Hill City High School in Hill City. Class will start at 8:00 a.m. and conclude at approximately 5:00 p.m.

Local K-State Research & Extension Agents will teach this basic course covering farm and machinery safety, including proper tractor operation and maintenance, grain safety, implement use safety and more.

The United States Department of Labor requires youth 14 – 15 years of age attend this safety training in order to work on a farm for someone other than their parents.

However, there are several cases where youth may be required to take the training even though they are working on the “family farm.” For instance, if the parent is a partner or member of a farm corporation or if the youth is legally employed by grandparents, the law requires youth participate in the course. Any employer who plans to hire youth under 16 years of age must make sure they attend this tractor safety course.

If you plan to attend, please contact the Cottonwood District, 785-628-9430 or e-mail Theresa, [email protected] to register by April 24th. A fee of $15 is due to your local Extension Office at registration and will cover rent of the manual, refreshments, lunch, and other materials needed during training. You can purchase the manual for an additional $15.

Police investigating another social media threat at SW Kan. middle school

FINNEY COUNTY — Law enforcement authorities and officials with USD 457 are investigating an alleged school threat.

Just after 6:30 p.m. Monday, police  received a report of a possible threat on social media towards Horace Good Middle School, 1412 N Main in Garden City, according to a media release. The threat was to occur on Tuesday.

There will be an increased police presence at the school. The Garden City Police Department and the Garden City School District encourage parents and guardians to monitor their child’s’ social media accounts and to have your child report any suspicious information.

On April 18, police identified a 14-year-old who made a social media threat that depicted the general use of firearms to harm students at the school.

The Garden City Police Department is requesting assistance from the community. If you witnessed this week’s incident, or have information related to this incident, you should call the Garden City Police Department

Partly sunny, mild Tuesday

Tuesday Partly sunny, with a high near 65. North wind 9 to 13 mph.

Tuesday Night Partly cloudy, with a low around 43. East northeast wind 5 to 9 mph becoming light and variable in the evening.

Wednesday Sunny, with a high near 74. West wind around 5 mph becoming light and variable.

Wednesday NightMostly clear, with a low around 46. East southeast wind around 5 mph becoming southwest after midnight.

ThursdaySunny, with a high near 76.

Thursday NightMostly clear, with a low around 48.

FridayIsolated showers before 1pm. Mostly sunny, with a high near 79. Breezy. Chance of precipitation is 20%.

SW Kansas man recovering after ejected when pickup collides with train

HAMILTON COUNTY — A Kansas man is recovering from injuries in a weekend crash in southwest Kansas.

The Kansas Highway Patrol reported a 2006 Izusu I-280 driven by Samuel Zapata, 20, Syracuse, was northbound on Barton Street south of U.S. 50 just after 5:30p.m. Saturday.

The pickup traveled around train crossing grades. The driver’s side of the pickup collided with an eastbound Burlington Santa Fe Train

The pickup rotated counter-clockwise an undetermined amount of times and the driver was ejected from the vehicle.

Zapata was transported to a hospital in Wichita. He was not wearing a seat belt, according to the KHP.

AG asks top Kan. court to say who names new appeals judge

By JOHN HANNA AP Political Writer

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — Kansas’ attorney general on Monday asked the state Supreme Court to settle an unprecedented dispute between Gov. Laura Kelly and a top lawmaker over whether Kelly can name a new lower-court judge after withdrawing her first pick.

Kelly had nominated Jeffry Jack March 15-photo office of Kansas Governor

The Democratic governor announced last week that she is moving ahead with submitting a new state Court of Appeals nominee to the GOP-dominated Senate for confirmation despite the objections of Senate President Susan Wagle, a conservative Wichita Republican. Wagle said Monday that Kelly is showing “blatant disrespect” for the law governing appointments to the state’s second-highest court.

Kelly was forced last month to withdraw the nomination of her first choice, Labette County District Judge Jeffry Jack, over political posts on his Twitter feed in 2017. Some included foul language or acronyms and one described President Donald Trump as “Fruit Loops.”

Wagle contends that by withdrawing Jack’s appointment, Kelly missed the legal deadline for nominating an appeals judge and the choice now falls to Supreme Court Chief Justice Lawton Nuss. The governor contends she met the deadline and gets to try again.

Attorney General Derek Schmidt, also a Republican, filed a petition Monday with the Supreme Court arguing that the law is “silent on this question.”

“It provides no legal authority for either the governor or the chief justice to fill a vacancy in this situation,” Schmidt wrote.

Jack’s failed nomination was a major embarrassment for the new governor and raised questions about her vetting process. No governor has missed making an appointment to the Court of Appeals since the state created it in 1978.

Schmidt asked the Supreme Court to expedite a decision. Legislators return May 1 from an annual spring break but are scheduled to wrap up their work for the year on May 17.

Veteran appeals court Judge Patrick McAnany retired the day Kelly took office in January. The 2013 appointments law says if the governor fails to make a nomination within 60 days, the choice falls to the Supreme Court’s chief justice.

Kelly announced Jack’s nomination on the March 15 deadline and withdrew it four days later. Wagle accused the governor Monday of trying to “bypass” the law.

“We should not escalate this conflict further but instead seek resolution on the legal question of who holds power to make the next nomination,” Wagle said before Schmidt filed his petition.

The law says that if the Senate rejects a nominee, the governor names another, without addressing what happens if a nominee withdraws without a vote. Kelly and her staff have argued that Jack represents a failed nomination.

“We need to get somebody on the Court of Appeals,” Kelly told reporters Monday. “We just need to get that language clarified, but in the meantime, I think it’s important that we go ahead with the process.”

Dog burned; cause of Kansas house fire under investigation

SHAWNEE COUNTY — Authorities are investigating the cause of a fire Monday at a home in Shawnee County.

Crews on the scene of Monday’s fire -photo courtesy WIBW TV

Just after 3a.m., fire crews  responded to a reported structure fire located at 325 SE Pinecrest Drive in Topeka, according to Fire Chief Michael Martin. Upon arrival, firecrews found a one story wood frame residence with heavy smoke and flames visible.

Firefighters began an offensive fire attack and began a search of the structure. The occupants escaped without injury. One occupant rescued a pet dog which sustained minor burns and was transported to an animal clinic for treatment; one cat remains missing.

The origin of the fire was within the living room, according to Martin. Estimated structural dollar loss – $12,000 and estimated content dollar loss is $6,000.  The residence had no working smoke alarms.

New dad Zunino hits 2-run HR to help Rays rally past Royals

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) – Mike Zunino returned from the paternity list and hit his first home run for Tampa Bay, a two-run shot that helped the Rays stop a season-high four-game skid with a 6-3 victory over the Kansas City Royals on Monday night.

Yandy Diaz, Brandon Lowe and Daniel Robertson also drove in runs for the AL East leaders, who scored three times in the seventh to come from behind against Brad Keller (2-2). It’s the ninth time this season the Royals have lost after holding a lead in the sixth inning or beyond.

Pitching while appealing a five-game suspension for his role in a benches-clearing fracas with the Chicago White Sox last week, Keller held the Rays in check until giving up Robertson’s tying RBI grounder and Zunino’s homer to straight away center in the seventh.

Zunino, obtained from Seattle in an offseason trade, missed three games while on the paternity list for the birth of his son last Friday.

The 23-year-old Keller allowed five runs and seven hits over 6 1/3 innings in his first outing since hitting Chicago’s Tim Anderson with a pitch two innings after the AL’s leading hitter emphatically spiked his bat to celebrate a homer, sparking last Wednesday’s melee that led to his suspension.

Alex Gordon, Hunter Dozier and Jorge Soler hit solo homers for the Royals, who have lost four straight.

Gordon and Dozier went deep for the second straight game, with Gordon connecting off Rays starter Yonny Chirinos in the first inning and Dozier giving the Royals a 3-1 lead in the sixth. Soler’s solo shot snapped a fifth-inning tie.

Wilmer Font (1-0) struck out the only batter he faced to get the win. Emilio Pagan pitched the ninth for his first career save.

TRAINER’S ROOM

Royals: LHP Danny Duffy (left shoulder impingement syndrome) is expected to rejoin the rotation Friday night. “He’s been one of our better starters over the last couple years, and when he’s healthy we know what type of pitcher he is,” manager Ned Yost said.

Rays: RF Austin Meadows, who’s on the injured list with a sprained right thumb, will be shut down for 10 days and hopes he will be ready to return in three to four weeks. “Let the swelling go down and after that see where we’re at,” Meadows said.

ON THE MEND

Rays LHP Blake Snell (fractured right fourth toe) had a light mound session totaling eight pitches in advance of an upcoming full bullpen. The 2018 AL Cy Young Award winner did not take part in defensive drills with the other pitchers. Snell was hurt moving a decorative stand in the bathroom of his home on April 14.

UP NEXT

Royals RHP Homer Bailey (2-1) will start the middle date of a three-game series. The Rays will use an opener, but were waiting until after Monday’s game to announce which reliever would take the mound first.

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