By KARI BLURTON
Hays Post
Keeping families together and “preventing fights and hurt feelings” is the goal of an upcoming program “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” scheduled for noon Monday at the Ellis County Extension Office in Hays, 601 Main, and 7 p.m. Tuesday at the Ellis Public Library, 907 Washington, Ellis.
Extension agent and presenter Linda Beech said the distribution of personal belongings owned by a loved one who has died is a common “struggle.” Researchers from the University of Minnesota interviewed families and attorneys and ultimately came up with “concrete” ideas to help families start the process of sorting through heirlooms before a family member dies.
“One of the first, and I think most important, is the owner of the stuff is the person who has the right to make the decisions,” Beech said. “While that person is living and healthy, they can decide what to do with their own personal belongings and that can save families lots of struggle and lots of conflict.”
She said a simple list as an attachment in a will is legally binding in Kansas and can evolve as family members are added or removed over time.
“If Grandma has a list that says ‘This is what each of my 16 heirs receive from my household’ … not many people are going to fight over those 16 things because Grandma decided,” Beech said.
The program will involve brainstorming and offer ideas on how family members can discuss what is meaningful to them, what they think is fair and advice on how the owner of the belongings can talk about the importance of items that could end up in the trash bin if its value is not explained.
Beech offered a personal experience.
“When my grandmother was elderly and started to distribute items from her home, she pulled out of storage something we had never seen, a really thick, clunky red goblet … big thick glass … ugly,” she laughed.
“Well, she told us it had been a wedding gift to her parents in the 1890s and all of the sudden that ugly chunky goblet took on a whole new meaning,” she said, adding if the family had cleared out her grandmother’s house after she died without knowing the goblet’s sentimental value, it would have ended up in a garage sale.
“We almost missed out on a wonderful story,” Beech said.
For more information on the program and to register, call (785) 628-9430.