A couple of weeks into this new year, I remember bringing up an inspirational message to a friend, one about a mother who had lost a child, something I couldn’t even imagine.

The mother was talking to me about her oldest of two sons, born in 1963 and waiting to be welcomed home by three older sisters. Sadly, the little boy never made it home. He died of heart problems when he was just 2 days old.

“It’s something you never get over,” she said, “but you learn to cope, and move on.”

This Hays woman, Dona Hughes ­– the most creative cake baker and decorator in town, by the way – went on to say how she had struggled mightily with the loss, until one day she read a book that changed her outlook on life.

The story goes something like this: God came to a couple one day and told them he had been listening to them and would answer their prayers by giving them a son.

“You are going to love raising this little rascal. He will be the joy of your lives,” He told the couple. “He will make you frustrated at times, but his smile will warm your heart.”

I listened attentively. A storyteller by nature, and by trade, I was intrigued.

Dona went on to say all the things God had to offer the couple in this bundle of joy. They would teach him how to do so many things and marvel at how fast he learned. They would protect him and support him and teach him how to be a compassionate human being.

And then came the inevitable “but …”

“However,” God told the couple, “when he’s 5 years old, I will need to bring him back home with me.”

The man and woman held their breath with anticipation.

“I know how hard this can be on parents,” God continued. “So I will understand completely if you would rather not have me give this child to you at all and avoid the pain of losing him.”

Dona stopped and glanced at me.

Feeling compelled to say something, I blurted out, “I’d say, ‘Yes, I want him,’ and then hope God forgot to take him back when he turned 5.”

Dona smiled and shook her head – probably thinking, “That’s not the way it works,” – as she got up from her chair to cover a cake I had ordered for a birthday party for our youngest son, Drew, who was turning 1. His older brother – our firstborn son, Reid – was 5 at the time.

I’ve thought of that story many a time over the years, particularly when I would hear of someone losing a child. I remember thinking if I ever lost one of our boys I would try, but it would be so hard, to realize how full his earthly life had been, even it was for only for a few years.

That’s easy to think when you’re watching two healthy youngsters running around in your front yard as they grow before your eyes, from babies to toddlers, from little boys to teenagers, and then into adulthood.

Years passed, and I told that story often, including earlier this year, and my friend marveled at the enormous faith it would take to look at life – and death – that way.

Just a few days later, God came to take Reid home with Him. Reid was 26, with a young son who turns 5 this week and a wonderful fiance to whom he had proposed at Christmas time.

As you can imagine – or maybe you can’t – it’s not been easy understanding “why now?” Sure, there will be tears in the coming days and weeks and months as we continue on our journey here on earth with a piece of our family puzzle missing.

But grieving is part of loving, and oh, how we loved that boy. So every time I start to feel sad, I vow to think of that beautiful message. Hopefully, the tears will turn to ones of joy as I treasure the warm memories of the time we did have with Reid.

Dona, who I thought had moved from Hays several years ago, approached me at Reid’s memorial service. I was surprised, and very moved, to see her. She asked if I remembered her. If she only knew.

God blessed my husband, Rex, and me with two healthy, athletic and mischievous – but compassionate – sons, on loan for who knows how long. I’m glad I didn’t know when God would take one of them back, seemingly before his time.

As it turns out, Dona gave birth to a healthy son a year after her loss, and we cherish the opportunity to watch Reid’s son, Brody, grow up. Neither take the place of the loved ones lost, but both represent keeping their spirit alive.

I learned that Dona, now 78, hasn’t moved from Hays after all and still lives in the same place she did when I visited her often back when our boys were young, to pick up a cake for a special occasion. After we got re-acquainted at Reid’s memorial service last month, I made myself a promise I would go visit Dona very soon.

I can hardly wait to thank her for that wonderful, inspirational story that has changed my outlook on life – and death.

Reid loved holidays and tradition, and he loved art, especially pencil drawing. He sketched a lot of roses over the years. So you can bet I’ll be placing a rose on Reid’s grave today, on this holiday traditionally known for people around the world expressing their love with flowers.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Reid. I will continue to thank God every day for the 26-plus years, and not just five, that we got to share with you – and love you – here on earth.

Love, Mom.

Diane Gasper-O’Brien is a feature writer in the University Relations and Marketing Office at Fort Hays State University.