Kiah, our remaining dog, was “inherited.” That means she once belonged to one of my sons, but because of circumstances, had to be turned over to us. Through the years, we have “inherited” various pets, including dogs and cats. (One of my sons was just “shocked” when his college would not allow him to keep a stray tom cat in his dorm room—now we have Charlie.) Each new pet brings its own peculiar traits.
Kiah is some kind of mix dog; we suspect Shepherd and Rottweiler, though we suspect each holds a minority interest in her. On occasion, when with our neighbor’s dog, she will act like a big, tough dog. If only people knew.
In the past, we used a plastic gallon ice cream container as a watering bowl for our pets, the kind you get from Dillon’s or some other grocery store. It had a handle that made it easy to carry and for us to pick up and fill with water.
One day, Kiah went to the watering bowl to get a drink. Apparently, the handle was part way up. As Kiah got a drink, the handle slipped over her head. When she raised her head after drink, she found the ice cream container handle around her neck. She panicked, running around the house crying in anguish as she tried to escape the clutches of the watering bowl.
Some of you have had similar experiences, though probably not with an ice cream container. You may have had a bad experience with a doctor, lawyer, accountant, etc. that has lead you not to trust that person or that profession.
Recently I was in a meeting. The potential client (Steve) across from me announced that he did not like or trust lawyers, doctors, accountants, or investment advisors. Obviously he must have had a bad experience with one or more of them (his own water bowl experience).
I was not about to suggest to Steve that he was right or wrong in his feeling. I did suggest that he allow the two of us to visit, let me tell him what we could do for his family, his input and questions would be appreciated, and then we would develop a plan. But at some level, and some point, he needed to be willing to put trust in me.
When I am talking with a client at an initial meeting, we have a different conversation than what Steve was accustom. After talking about Steve’s and his family’s health; we discussed his property and how it was acquired and its importance to his family. My final questions to Steve were “What are your goals; what is it that you are concerned about; and what would you like me to help you with?” It is always interesting that the initial goal of Steve and other clients, after such a conversation, evolves through the course of that first meeting. When we finished, Steve and I talked about a plan that would fulfill his goals and ambitions.
When Steve was walking out the door, he shook my hand warmly, and said “I finally found a lawyer I trust”. I did not take that “compliment” for granted.
My suggestion to you that when working with a professional, lawyer or otherwise, you find someone that not only will listen to you, but will lead you through a series of questions, to help you articulate your big picture goals. Find someone that when you get done, you feel you can trust. Continue to provide input in the process.
Back to Kiah. Once in a while she will start whining at night, after we have retired to bed. I will go downstairs, thinking she needs to go outside.
Instead, many times she just wants a drink, and she wants me there, just in case the watering bowl should grab her by the neck. Some lessons are hard to overwrite, so we just bought a real watering bowl, without a handle. We are all happier.
Randy Clinkscales of Clinkscales Elder Law Practice, PA, Hays, Kansas, is an elder care attorney, practicing in western Kansas. To contact him, please send an email to [email protected]. Disclaimer: The information in the column is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Each case is different and outcomes depend on the fact of each case and the then applicable law. For specific questions, you should contact a qualified attorney.