By CRISTINA JANNEY
Hays Post

Options Domestic and Sexual Violence Services remembered victims of domestic violence Thursday night with its annual Purple Light Night.

The event happened at a time when the demand for domestic violence services has dramatically increased in the Hays community.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and Options has encouraged the community to place purple lights in outside light fixtures in honor of those who are suffering from domestic violence, those who escaped and those who have died at the hands of their abusers.

Options covers an 18-county area, but Jennifer Hecker, Options executive director, said the majority of Options’ calls for service come from Ellis County, in a part because of the population density.

“We started doing the Purple Light Night event because we wanted to bring attention to the silent scourge of our community, and that is domestic violence,” Hecker said. “Eighty-five percent of domestic violence incidents happen behind closed doors. No one knows that it is going on in our community.

“The idea behind Purple Light Night is to bring hope to those people who are still living in abusive situations, to remember the people who have lost their lives to domestic violence, and to support those who are survivors and have come out on the other side healthy and whole and happy.”

There is a domestic violence incident every 23 minutes in Kansas, there is an arrest every 45 minutes, but there is also a murder due to domestic violence every 12 days.

Surrounding tables with face painting, games for children and tables for people to chat over chili and cinnamon roles were silent witnesses.

Banners displayed the names of people who had lost their lives to domestic violence in Northwest Kansas.

The Options safehouse provided shelter to 80 men, women and children in the last year. That is 44 percent higher than the previous year. Options provided 3,896 domestic violence services in the last year, which was up 151 percent, and its crisis hotline received 389 calls, which was up 267 percent.

Children in homes in which domestic violence is occurring are also greatly affected, Hecker said. Nine out of 10 children in these homes are direct witnesses to the domestic violence. These children can suffer with regression, anxiety, attachment issues, depression and self blame.

Witnessing domestic violence can make children more likely to experience domestic violence as teens and adults and can impair their ability to partner and parent.

Options newest program, called Building Strong Families, seeks to combat the cycle of domestic violence and build resiliency in children who experience domestic violence.

So far this year, Options has provided 413 services to children affected by domestic violence, which is up 160 percent over the last two years.

Hecker encouraged members of the community to ask and act when they suspect someone is being affected by domestic violence.

“Another thing you can do is when someone discloses to you, believe them,” she said. “Resist the urge to minimize the abuse from the abuser even when it is someone who you know. Hold the perpetrator accountable and never ever blame the victim by asking them what they did to cause the abuse.

Ask instead why the abuser is abusing. That is the question we should be asking. Not why hasn’t she left, but why he doing that in the first place.”

Hays Police Chief Don Scheibler said as a community, we can stop the cycle of violence.

Ellis County Ed Harbin said Options employees were angels to many people in the community.

Mayor Shaun Musil was on hand and thanked all the Options employees and volunteers for what they do to combat domestic violence in the community. Fort Hays State University Police Chief Ed Howell also addressed the crowd.