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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 6/27/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Hamster Care

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take
care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, “How many times do you think
that hamster would have died if I hadn’t looked after it?”

After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, “Once?”

 

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Sheryl Crow says 2008 fire destroyed all her master tapes

LONDON (AP) — Singer Sheryl Crow says the original tapes of albums such as “Tuesday Night Music Club” and the track “All I Wanna Do” perished in a 2008 fire at Universal Music Group.

Crow told the BBC Wednesday that her master tapes and back-ups were destroyed in the blaze and that she only discovered the loss after a New York Times report revealed the extent of the damage.

Crow says the fire “feels a little apocalyptic” and that she didn’t “understand the cover-up.”

A group of artists, including Soundgarden and estates representing Tupac Shakur and Tom Petty, have sued. The artists allege that Universal failed to protect music ruined in the fire and inform them of the extent of its impact.

Universal did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Sebastian Maniscalco to host MTV’s 2019 Video Music Awards

NEW YORK (AP) – Comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco will host MTV’s 2019 Video Music Awards.

He’ll be joined at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, on Aug. 26 by some of the industry’s biggest stars as they celebrate the year’s music videos.

Executive producer Bruce Gillmer says Maniscalco’s “comedic spin on relatable topics will make this year’s show truly unforgettable.”

Maniscalco is currently on his North American “You Bother Me” tour.

The 45-year-old was the 2018 Billboard “Comedian of the Year” and made his feature film debut last year in the Oscar-winning “Green Book.”

He’ll next be seen on Netflix in Martin Scorsese’s “The Irishman,” with Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci.

Dixie Chicks say new album is coming

Dixie Chicks in Austin, TX. Photo by Ron Baker.

LOS ANGELES (AP) – The Dixie Chicks took the long way around, but they’re returning with new music soon after a 13-year hiatus.

The award-winning group’s lead singer, Natalie Maines, took to Instagram recently to tease a new album.

Using a baby filter, Maines exclaims “Dixie Chicks!” Bandmates Emily Robison and Martie Maguire then say “Album” and “Coming.” Their producer, Jack Antonoff, says “Someday.”

Their representative has not responded to an email seeking comment on the upcoming album.

The Dixie Chicks’ last album in 2006, “Taking the Long Way,” won the Grammy award for Album of the Year.

The group received both support and severe backlash in 2003 after Maines told a London audience that they were ashamed President George W. Bush was from Texas.

Jerry Carrigan, drummer for Elvis, George Jones, dies

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Alabama-born drummer Jerry Carrigan, who was in the first rhythm section for FAME Studio in Muscle Shoals and later an in-demand session player in Nashville, Tennessee, died at age 75 in Chattanooga.

His cousin, Tom Carrigan, said he learned of Carrigan’s death last Thursday, but he didn’t know the exact date of his death.

Carrigan was just a teenager when he and his friends David Briggs, who played piano, and Norbert Putnam, who played bass, helped to create the Muscle Shoals sound under the guidance of producer Rick Hall. Putnam said they played on some of the earliest FAME records, including Arthur Alexander’s “You Better Move On,” whose songs caught the attention of The Beatles.

That led to Carrigan getting to play in the Muscle Shoals backup band that opened for The Beatles on their first U.S. concert in Washington D.C. in 1964, said Putnam.

Later the three Alabama musicians moved to Nashville, where they became some of the most in-demand session players in Nashville, a group which is commonly called the Nashville Cats. He became a prolific musician, playing for Elvis Presley, George Jones, Kenny Rogers, Porter Wagoner and more.

Putnam said Tuesday that the Nashville session musicians in the ’70s had to be versatile and Carrigan worked on everything from big band music to composer Henry Mancini to JJ Cale and Tony Joe White.

The Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum lists some of his credits as Bobby Bare’s “Marie Laveau,” Waylon Jennings’s “Only Daddy That’ll Walk the Line,” George Jones’ “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” Jerry Lee Lewis’ “Middle Aged Crazy,” Jerry Reed’s “When You’re Hot, You’re Hot,” Charlie Rich’s “Behind Closed Doors,” Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler,” Ray Stevens’ “Everything Is Beautiful,” and Tony Joe White’s “Polk Salad Annie.”

KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 6/26/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This kid is not so bright. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store and says, “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

 

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Tributes to Michael Jackson flow on 10th death anniversary

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Michael Jackson’s estate paid tribute to his artistry and charity Tuesday as fans began gathering to celebrate his memory on the 10th anniversary of the King of Pop’s death.

“Ten years ago today, the world lost a gifted artist and extraordinary humanitarian,” the Jackson estate said in a statement to The Associated Press. “A decade later,

Michael Jackson is still with us, his influence embedded in dance, fashion, art and music of the moment. He is more important than ever.”

The estate has doggedly worked to protect and enhance Jackson’s legacy, a task made more challenging this year when two men accused Jackson of molesting them as boys in the HBO documentary “Leaving Neverland,” sparking new scrutiny of years-old claims that Jackson preyed on children. Jackson was acquitted of abuse allegations in 2005 and always vehemently denied such allegations, and the estate and his family angrily refuted the men’s claims when the documentary was released in March, noting the men had at one time been among Jackson’s biggest defenders and one testified on his behalf at his criminal trial.

The estate is using the anniversary of Jackson’s death to celebrate and accentuate Jackson’s vast humanitarian work. It called on fans to honor Jackson’s memory by engaging in charitable acts “whether it’s planting a tree, volunteering at a shelter, cleaning up a public space or helping someone who is lost find their way. … This is how we honor Michael,” the statement read.

Mourners began to gather early Tuesday and placed elaborate flower arrangements and poster-sized pictures of Jackson, some featuring signed messages from dozens of fans, outside his mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California.

A florist delivered on arrangement from a client in Japan. A heart made from flowers in the colors of the Iranian flag featured the message “Iran (hearts) MJ.” Another flowered heart read “Love from Denmark.”

A fan from Las Vegas, dressed as Jackson in bright red shirt and one white glove, was among the first mourners to appear.

Fans also plan to gather at Jackson’s last home in the Holmby Hills neighborhood of Los Angeles, where the singer received a fatal dose of the anesthetic propofol on the afternoon of June 25, 2009, from his doctor. Jackson was declared dead at a hospital at age 50.

Others planned to gather around Jackson’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. One group planned a Hollywood rally Tuesday to declare his innocence of molestation allegations.

Thomas Mesereau, the attorney who successfully defended Jackson at his 2005 trial, issued a statement Tuesday saying “Jackson’s compassion, humanity, empathy and talent continues to inspire family, friends, supporters and fans across the globe. The legend of this great father, son, sibling and artist marches forward with characteristic brilliance and wonder. His legacy can be attacked by opportunists. But it will never be defeated. Michael Jackson was a great and kind man.”

John Branca and John McClain, both major figures in Jackson’s career when he was alive, as co-executors have taken his badly debt-ridden estate and grossed over $1.3 billion through various Jackson-related projects in the past decade, including the film “This Is It,” a pair of Cirque du Soleil shows and the sale of Jackson assets that included The Beatles catalog.

Jackson left everything to his mother, his children and charity in his will.

The singer’s father, Joe, died last year and is buried in the same cemetery as his son, but Michael’s 89-year-old mother, five brothers, three sisters and three kids remain alive and well 10 years later.

The death of Jackson was a massive cultural phenomenon, bringing an outpouring of public affection and revival of his songs and largely erasing the taint that remained after his criminal trial, despite his acquittal.

It was one of the earliest instances of the mass mourning on social media that would soon become common, and a massive worldwide audience both on TV and online watched his July 27, 2009 public memorial that included touching tributes from family members including daughter Paris and performances from Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey and Lionel Richie.

KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 6/25/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Poor Actor

A poor actor was having trouble paying his rent. One morning his
landlady caught him in front of the building and demanded her money.

“Couldn’t you please give me a break?” begged the actor. “You know, one
day people will pass by this building, point up, and say ‘One of the
greatest actors of our generation used to live here’.”

“If you don’t pay up,” said the landlady, “they could be saying that
tomorrow.”

 

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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 6/24/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Deep in the Savannah, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful.

“It’s got to be me,” said the hawk. “After all, I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey. You two can’t do that.”

“Maybe not,” said the lion, “but I am certain I’m more powerful. I am fast, have sharp teeth and claws, and besides which they call me the king of beasts!”

“Nope,” said the skunk, “got you both beat. Really. With a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you!”

At just that moment, a bear came down from one of the trees and settled the debate by eating them all — hawk…lion…and stinker.

 

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Winners: Willie Nelson’s album “Ride Me Back Home” with 99 KZ Country!

We are giving away Willie Nelson‘s album “Ride Me Back Home” courtesy of Legacy Recordings.

Listen to Theresa Trapp Monday, June 24-Friday, June 28, 2019 for chances to call 785-628-2995 and win an album.

No age requirement to win.

Winners will need to pick up their albums at the KZ Country Studio, 2300 Hall, Hays, KS within 30 days of winning.

**********

Congratulations Pam Bieker, Jennifer Smith, Alicia Zeman, Don Burlison and Judy Arnold!

 

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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 6/19/19

khaz cheesy joke logo 20110802Which Club to Use?

The golfer hit his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods.

Finally, after banging away several more times, he hit into a sand trap.

All the while, he’d noticed that the golf club instructor had been watching.

“What should I do now?” he asked the instructor.

“I don’t know,” the instructor replied. “What game are you playing?”

 

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