Q: How does a Snowman get to work?
A: By icicle.

 

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What happened to the lost cattle?
(Nobody’s herd!)

 

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
(Roost beef!)

 

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Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee!

 

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Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.

 

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What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
(An udder failure!)

 

 

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The High-Jump

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he
could hop very high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was
out the next morning, just wandering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence
was put up. Again he go out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked
the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo said, “Pretty high, unless somebody figures out to lock the
gate at night!”

 

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A Needed Raise

“I need a raise,” the secretary said to her boss. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Is that so?” asked the boss. “What other companies are after you?”

The secretary answered, “The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”

 

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Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths. The first mouse says, “Mouse traps, Ha! I do pushups with the bar!” The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin, “D-Con Rat Poison.” The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave. The first mouse says, “Where do you think you’re going?” The third mouse replies, “Time to go home and chase the cat.”

 

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