Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!
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Tag: KHAZ
Winners: Chicken Soup for the Soul book “The Wonder of Christmas” with 99 KZ Country
We are giving away the Chicken Soup for the Soul book “The Wonder of Christmas.”
Listen during a KZ Country Morning with Theresa Trapp Monday, December 17-Friday, December 21, 2018 for chances to call 785-628-2995 and win.
No age requirement to win.
Winners will need to pick up their books at the KZ Country Studio, 2300 Hall, Hays, KS within 30 days of winning.
Anyone who loves this joyous time of year will love these heartwarming and entertaining stories of family bonding, holiday hijinks, community spirit, and family and religious traditions. A fantastic holiday gift and a great way to start the season!
Christmas is a merry and joyful time of year, full of family, friends, and traditions. You’ll delight in reading these 101 holiday tales of inspiration, love, and wonder. Many will make you laugh out loud; others will make you tear up a little. And all the stories are “Santa safe” so they can keep the magic alive for the whole family!
Congratulations to Helen Benlien, Ron Cook, Darla Hanks, Don Burlison and Linda Palmberg.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/14/18
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Claus-terphobic
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/11/18
The Biggest Lie
Two boys were arguing in class when the teacher entered the room. The teacher asked, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answered, “We found a ten-dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/10/18
A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six shooters. “Excuse me, sir,” said the police officer, “who are you?” “My name’s Tex, officer,” said the cowboy. ” eh?” said the police officer, “Are you from Texas?” “Nope, Louisiana.” “Louisiana? So why are you called Tex?” “Don’t want to be called Louise, do I .
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/7/18
The Perfect Pitch
Robert bought his girlfriend a piano for her birthday. A few weeks
later, Robert’s friend inquired how she was doing with it.
“Oh,” said Robert, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”
“How come?” asked the friend.
“Well,” Robert answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/6/18
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. “Ever have an accident?” “Nope, nary a one.” “None? You’ve never had any accidents.” “Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.” “Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?” “Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/5/18
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelop?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/4/18
A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up.
The judge asks the husband, “What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?”
The husband says, “In the six weeks we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.
The wife says, “Seven weeks.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/3/18
The Greatest Hitter
A little boy was practicing baseball by himself. “I’m the greatest
hitter in the world,” he said. Then he tossed the ball into the air,
swung at it, and missed.
“Strike one!” he yelled. He tossed the ball into the air again.
When it came down he swung and missed. “Strike two!” he cried.
Again he tossed the ball up in the air, swung, and missed. “Strike
three!”
“Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’m the greatest PITCHER in the world!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 11/30/18
Smart People
A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.
At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. “I’m so glad you’re teaching me instead of him.”
Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.
“Yes,” she said, “but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 11/29/18
A cowboy strolls into town on his horse Fireball and goes straight to the saloon. He drinks straight whiskey for a few hours, never moving except to take another drink. When he’s done he gets up and walks out of the saloon.
He immediately runs back in and yells, “Alright! Who took Fireball?” But nobody makes a noise.
He continues, “Okay, I’m gonna give y’all to the count of three then we’re gonna have a repeat of what happened back in ’71.”
“ONE!” He pauses and nobody moves a muscle.
“TWO!” Everybody braces for impending doom.
“Here it comes… THR…”
He is interrupted by a man in the saloon, “Wait! It was just a joke mister. Your horse is right out back… By the way, what’d you do in ’71?”
The cowboy looks him dead in the eye and says, “I had to walk home.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 11/28/18
Strawberry Fertilizer
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little
boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got
in your truck?”
“Fertilizer,” the farmer replied.
“What are you going to do with it?” asked the little boy.
“Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer.
“You ought to live here,” the little boy advised him. “We put sugar and
cream on ours.”
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