Children and Allergies
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets.
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for.
She replied, “I’m allergic to nuts and eggs.”
The person asked, “Are you allergic to cats?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know… I don’t eat cats.”
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What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!
How do snowmen travel around?
By icicle!
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A Little Help
An elderly man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very
small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to
reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for a moment, the man crosses the
street, walks up behind the little fellow, leans over and gives the
doorbell a solid ring.
“Ding Dong”
Crouching down to the child’s level, the old man smiles and asks, “And
now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
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Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!
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Diet Buddies
Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose a few pounds
she had put on recently.
“Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be
dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to
drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Wonderful,” Mary replied. “I’ll go with you!”
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How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
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It was so cold…
the computer store was selling giant keyboards so people could type with mittens!
It was so cold…
Mother Nature moved out and went south! She’s no longer on speaking terms with Father Winter.
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Q:. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water!
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We are giving away the Chicken Soup for the Soul book “The Best Advice I Ever Heard.”
Listen during a KZ Country Morning with Theresa Trapp Monday, November 12-Friday, November 16, 2018 for chances to call 785-628-2995 and win.
No age requirement to win.
Winners will need to pick up their books at the KZ Country Studio, 2300 Hall, Hays, KS within 30 days of winning.
People aren’t shy about giving advice. Whatever the advice – romantic, parental, financial, nutritional, occupational – you’ve heard it all. But what’s the best advice you ever heard? The contributors to this book have answered that question 101 different ways. This collection of personal tips, traditional adages, and clever observations covers such diverse topics as life, love, success, forgiveness, friendship, character, health, and many more.
Has your whole outlook ever been changed by a few choice words? Did you change your life as a result of one piece of advice? In Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Best Advice I Ever Heard, 101 people share the words that changed everything for them, and how their lives improved as a result. This combination Christmas and New Year New You book provides the gift of advice—relatable for readers of all ages from all walks of life—with tips on such diverse topics as love, fitness, forgiveness, friendship, character, self-discipline, and health.
Congratulations Linda Palmberg, Mikayla Kakar, Terry Hagaman, Sammie Werner and Judy Werth!
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Possible Aspirations
The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they
grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room.
“A football player… a doctor… an astronaut… the president… a
fireman… a teacher… a race car driver….”
The teacher noticed that Tommy was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, “Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Possible” Tommy replied.
“Possible?” asked the teacher.
“Yes,” Tommy said. “My mom is always telling me I’m impossible. So
when I get to be big, I want to be possible.”
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Funeral Baking
An old man was on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he
suddenly smelled the scent of fresh buns wafting into his room.
Aaahhhh… he loved fresh buns more than anything else in the world.
With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed… down the
stairs and into the kitchen he went. There was his beloved wife,
kneading the dough for a new batch. As he reached for one of the fresh
steaming buns, he got smacked across the back of his hand by the wooden
spoon his wife was holding.
“Leave them alone!” she said. “They’re for the funeral!”
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
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