Q: What do you call sad coffee?
A: Depresso.
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Tag: KHAZ
KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/25/18
Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/24/18
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/21/18
Diet Workshop
Everyone had weighed in, and the diet workshop leader began her lecture
on the week’s topic: the problems of dining out. She talked about
alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having
meat broiled instead of fried.
Finally the leader turned the question over to the group for discussion:
“What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?”
Replied one woman quickly, “Running into you!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/20/18
Reaching the end of a job interview, the personnel recruitment officer asked a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years .. say, a red sports Mercedes?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/19/18
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/18/18
When Grandpa and Billy entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Grandpa did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/17/18
A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; “What is the quickest way to the lake?
The local thought for awhile. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist.
“I’m driving.”
“That is the quickest way!” the local said.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/14/18
Muffling Response
The owner of a construction company lived where winters were very
fierce. He felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his
foreman.
Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn’t wearing the earmuffs even on
the bitterest day, the owner asked, “Didn’t you like the muffs?”
The Foreman said, “They were a thing of beauty. They kept my ears toasty
warm, and I was able to work all day in perfect comfort.”
“Then why aren’t you wearing them?” the owner asked.
“I wore them the first day,” the foreman explained, “and somebody
offered to buy me lunch, but I didn’t hear him! I’ll never make that
mistake again!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/13/18
A Sure Bet
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “It’s a bet! Let’s see what you got.”
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/12/18
The First Kiss
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ’bout a goodnight kiss?”
Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
“No way. It’s just too risky!”
“Oh please, please, I like you so much!!”
“No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“NO, no. I just can’t.”
“Pleeeeease?…”
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/11/18
After the Anesthetic
An overworked father was visiting a hospital where his teenage son was
about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor’s every move, he asked, “What’s that?”
The doctor explained, “This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he
won’t know a thing.”
“Save your time, Doc,” exclaimed the man. “He doesn’t know anything
now.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 9/10/18
Devious Dollar
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in
the park. Her mother was touched by the child’s kindness, and gave her
the dollar.
“There you are, my dear,” said the mother. “But, tell me, isn’t the lady
able to work any more?”
“Oh yes,” came the reply. “She sells candy.”
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