Q: Where did the computer go to dance?

A: To a disc-o.

 

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Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

 

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What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.

 

 

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“Open wider,” requested the dentist as he began his examination.  “Good grief!”  he said startled.  “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen — the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.”

“OK, doc!” replied the patient.  “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.”

“I didn’t!  said the dentist.  “That was the echo.”

 

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Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A: A Bed

 

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An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids are nothing to look at either.

 

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The Bishop’s Role

The church was celebrating its 100th anniversary, and several former
pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, the minister
had the children gather for a talk about the importance of the day. He
began by asking, “Does anyone know what the bishop does?”

There was silence.

Finally, one little boy answered gravely, “He’s the one you can move
diagonally.”

 

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What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.

 

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Q: Why did the fly never land on the computer?
A: He was afraid of the world wide web.

 

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A man was running for reelection to be the mayor of his town.  He was in a bar and paid for a woman’s drink.  She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had bought her a beer.

“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”

“You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass.  “Anyone’s better than the dumbwit who’s in there now.”

 

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Ticket To Ride

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.  “Keep it,” the cop said. “When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.”

 

 

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

 

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When is the moon the heaviest?
When it is full.

 

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