A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we don’t serve your kind here! Get out!” So the string goes outside, gets itself really tangled up and partially unraveled, then goes back inside. The bartender says “Aren’t you that piece of string I just threw out of here?” To which the string replies “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Where do fish keep their money?
In river banks.
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
What do you call a cow that had a baby?
Decaffeinated!
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
An Elephant’s Memory
An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a
turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear
across the river.
“What did you do that for?” Asked a passing giraffe.
“Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my
trunk 53 years ago.”
“Wow, what a memory” commented the giraffe.
“Yes,” said the elephant. “I have turtle recall”.
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
We are giving away the Chicken Soup for the Soul book “My Crazy Family.”
Listen during a KZ Country Morning with Theresa Trapp Monday, April 23 – Friday, April 27, 2018 for the sounder with a rooster and chickens. Call 785-628-2995 when you hear the sounder. Caller three will be the winner.
No age requirement to win.
Winners will need to pick up their books at the KZ Country Studio, 2300 Hall, Hays, KS within 30 days of winning.
Remember, one win per household per 30 days!
Everyone thinks their own family is crazy. In these 101 stories of crazy, embarassing, annoying and dysfunctional families, Chicken Soup for the Soul contributors humorously and lovingly share those special moments that have become cherished memories.
Family. It’s a cast of characters with whom we walk through life – complicated, crazy, annoying and sometimes embarrassing characters who we can’t help but love. In these 101 stories, you’ll read about those characters, the moments they’ve shared and the memories they’ve made. You’ll nod in recognition, laugh out loud, and maybe even tear up a little as you see yourself and your own family in these stories of sometimes dysfunctional, but always loving, families.
Winners: Pat Sauer, Don Burlison, Linda Palmberg, John Braun and Lily Kingsley
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Number Twelve
The number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of
beer.
“Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman.
“Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
“You’re under 21,” replies the barman.
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.” The horse replies, “Sure.”
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Cool Bunny
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the
shelves.
“What are you doing in there?” she asked.
The rabbit replied, “This is a Westinghouse, isn’t it?”
The lady furrowed her brow. “Why, yes,” she said, “it is”.
“Well,” the rabbit said, “I’m westing.”
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Literal Eggs
One morning a soldier was in line for breakfast and noticed that the
cook behind the counter looked like he was having a bad day. After the
solder gave his order, the cook asked how the soldier wanted his eggs.
Not wanting to burden him further, the soldier said cheerfully, “Oh,
whatever is easiest for you.”
The cook took two eggs, cracked them open onto the soldier’s plate and
then handed it back to him.
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Rufus
Rufus Who?
Rufus the most important part of your house.
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Why do cows wear bells?
(Their horns don’t work!)
What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?
(A coat!)
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Where do ants go for their holidays?
Frants!
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant!
What do you get if you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics!
Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
