I Feel Like a Teepee
Fred walks into the doctor’s office one day and says to the
doctor, “Doc, I don’t understand what’s going on with me.
It’s really strange, sometimes I feel like a teepee, and sometimes I
feel like a wigwam.”
To which the doctor says “I wouldn’t worry about it, Fred, you’re
just two tents.”
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How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
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Barking Up the Wrong Tree
John, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:00 A.M. by his ringing telephone.
“Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice.
John thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before
hanging up.
The next morning at precisely 4:00 A.M., John called his neighbor back.
“Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to say that I don’t have a
dog.”
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Walking Tall
Doctor Bloomfield was known for his extraordinary treatment of
arthritis. One day he had a waiting room full of people when a little
old lady, almost bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her
cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor’s office, and,
amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her
head held high.
A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this rushed up to the
little old lady and said, “It’s a miracle! You walked in bent in half
and now you’re walking erect. What did that doctor do?”
“He gave me a longer cane.”
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A Chilly Job
A mother’s four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of
the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she wouldn’t budge from her
seat even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice was
cleaned.
At the end of the show, she exclaimed, “I know what I want to be when I
grow up!”
The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in
the Ice Capades.
She was brought back to earth when the daughter continued, “I want to be
a Zamboni driver!”
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What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
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Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
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What kind of pets does a marching band have?
Trum-pets.
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Kansas’ Biggest Rodeo will be August 3 – 5, 2017 in Phillipsburg, KS.
Listen to 99 KZ Country July 24 -August 1, 2017 for chances to win tickets from Kansas’ Biggest Rodeo. Winners will be able to choose a pair of tickets for Thursday, August 3 or Friday, August 4 while supplies last. Down to Thursday, August 3 tickets. Thursday, August 3 tickets will include a Tough Enough to Wear Pink item.
For every fan who wears pink to the rodeo on Thursday, August 3, $1 will be given to Phillips County Relay for Life.
For more information visit the website KansasBiggestRodeo.com or call 785-543-2448. Also, look for the rodeo’s Facebook Page: Kansas Biggest Rodeo
Winners will need to pick up tickets at the KHAZ Studio, 2300 Hall in Hays, KS.
Remember, one win per household per 30 days!
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Congrats to Monte Boydston!
*****
Listen to Theresa Trapp weekday mornings July 18 – 21, 2017 for chances to call in and register for “The Best Seats in the House” at Kansas’ Biggest Rodeo Thursday, August 3, 2017. Listen for the running horses and dial 785-628-2995. One entry per person! No age requirement.
The winner will be drawn on Friday, July 21, 2017 and receives:
-Two tickets to the Thursday night performance of the Phillipsburg Rodeo
-Seating in the back of a Ram Pickup provided by Matteson Motors backed up to the rodeo arena.
-Two chairs and a cooler from Orscheln’s Farm and Home of Phillipsburg. The cooler will be filled with cold drinks. The winner gets to keep the chairs and the cooler.
-Two Coors shirts provided by A&A Coors of Hays.
-Two box meals from 3rd Street Bakery of Phillipsburg.
Winner will need to pick up tickets at the KHAZ Studio, 2300 Hall in Hays, KS.
Remember, one win per household per 30 days!
Good luck from 99 KZ Country!
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Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain.
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Where do horses live?
In neigh-borhoods.
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What She Likes Best
The other day a man asked his wife what she liked best about him.
“Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?”
She replied, “Oh, it’s your sense of humor, dear.”
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