Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
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Tag: KHAZ
KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/10/19
A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God again, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
God replied, “Sorry about that, I just didn’t recognize you!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/9/19
A banker approaches the Pearly Gates sweating and struggling with a heavy suitcase. Saint Peter greets him and says, “Set the suitcase down and come in.”
“No way!” barks the banker. “I have to bring it in.”
“What could possibly be in there that’s so important?” asks Saint Peter.
The banker opens the suitcase to reveal 50 gold bricks. Saint Peter’s jaw drops: “You brought pavement?”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/8/19
Tapping the Cabbie
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a
bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop
window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said,
“Please, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap
would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my
first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last
25 years.”
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Winners: Chicken Soup for the Soul book “Messages from Heaven and Other Miracles” with 99 KZ Country
We are giving away the Chicken Soup for the Soul book “Messages from Heaven and Other Miracles.”
Listen during a KZ Country Morning with Theresa Trapp Monday, January 7-Friday, January 11, 2019 for chances to call 785-628-2995 and win.
No age requirement to win.
Winners will need to pick up their books at the KZ Country Studio, 2300 Hall, Hays, KS within 30 days of winning.
Messages from heaven and miracles come to us in a variety of surprising and comforting ways. They come to us in dreams or in signs, from people we know and love, and from perfect strangers. And sometimes we’re even visited by an angel. However we receive these messages, or experience these miracles, we are reminded that love never dies.
These true, personal stories will amaze, inspire and comfort you because you’ll read about ordinary people who have had extraordinary experiences, and you’ll see that miracles do happen to good people. These 101 miraculous accounts will deepen your faith, renew your hope and open your eyes to the miracles around you.
Congratulations Lynnie Chard, Pat Sauer, Nathan Hiligas, Lavon McGinnes and Sammie Werner!
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/7/19
Hospital Forms
A lady walked into the admitting office of a hospital and walked up to
one of the clerks. She was handed some forms to fill out and told to
return when she was done.
After completing the forms, she returned to the clerk. The clerk typed
the information into the computer, and then asked her the reason for her
coming to the hospital.
“Just to visit a friend,” the lady said, “but this has taken so long,
I’m not sure I have time now.”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/4/19
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, “If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar $100. Do you want to have a go?”
The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, “Nah, the steaks are too high!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/3/19
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER… FASTER…
BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping…
Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
The coffin stops.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 1/2/19
The priest said to the poor farmer, “If you had a horse, would you give it to the Lord?”
“Yes.”
“And if you had a cow?”
“Absolutely.”
“And a goat?”
“Sure.”
“A pig?”
“Now, that’s not fair!” protested the farmer. “You know I have a pig!”
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/31/18
Q: What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
A: He got 12 months.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/28/18
It was so cold…
we played checkers with tea light candles.
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/27/18
How do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
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KZ Country Cheesy Joke of the Day 12/26/18
Cooking Up A Storm
A man was always telling his wife that housekeeping would be a lot easier if she would just organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
A friend of his popped over one evening to see how he was managing with his wife being away, and he boasted, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed
the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen
floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”
Then he added sheepishly, “Don’t tell my wife, but when I was making the
chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the
beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”
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